Guy needing advice about marriage/newly wed

**sourpuss** · 08-23-2010 08:08 PM

This is a post from another forum (sports) that I post on. The guy is asking for advice for his buddy and of course getting the usually locker room talk and jibs and no real advice. So I thought I'd post it here and see if anyone had anything to offer the guy.

First off this problem aint mine in disguise my woman's about to pop another kid in a few weeks. But yes my mate who has been married for two months and has been with the girl for five years has a major, major problem. So please read:

Within two months of going out she straddled a fella in a nightclub and rammed her tongue down his throat. When she's hammered she doesn't know what she's doing apparently and when she don't remember the next day, I know the girl and I think she is telling the truth. Anyway my mate, very hurt, a few days later almost shagged a girl but didn't go the whole nine yards.

Five years on they're married but: The problem is sex. She once got asked "what do you find attractive about me" and my mate got "don't know in response." When it comes to sex she likes the basics. She don't like anal, don't like receiving oral, don't like toys, don't like multi-positions... just the basics. Since they've been together she's never came once. Apparently every time she's about to she pushes him off. He does all the running, most of the housework and apparently they don't have fun anymore. She just comes home from work switches on telly and veggies out. He's tried eveything, even suggested a therapist but she's too embarassed too. When she's a bit tipsy she does get her game going but he doesn't want to keep depending on alcohol. He's described her as being like a bit of a vicar's wife. According to my missus who knows her well when they were at Uni together she went home with a different man almost every weekend sometimes more than one. Yet she told another friend of her's that my mate is a bit much for her in bed!! And he's apparently got a tiny todger too (my sister slept with him and she confirms).

He's tried everything and since they came back from honeymoon two months ago they've done it twice. They were on their honeymoon in the Caribbean for 11 days and done it three times!! One of which she can't remember.

The guy's a bit distraught and I feel for him. He loves her to bits and I think she does love him but she's not prepared to confront this problem. And it's only gonna make things worse.

Thoughts??

**jns** · 08-23-2010 08:25 PM

Sounds like she has two personalities, the very strict one and the party girl one. Neither are a good fit for the posters mate, whom has his own set of problems. I don't think this will last.

**Tiptopshape** · 08-23-2010 08:40 PM

There's no other way but to ask for a professional help. Does he have any close friends in mind who is professional enough to handle this situation? Maybe she'll open up more if she knows that the person she'd be confiding with is close to them. I just wished I 'd have a better advice but that's all I can think of. Hope she gets better, really. I pity your friend to be honest.

**WildChild** · 08-24-2010 12:30 AM

Do you know if she ever masterbates? If she can cum on her own?
The random men in the past sounds more like an insecurity thing. How responsive is she to foreplay? Does she like kissing and touching? How would she respond to masterbating each other?
It might help if he tries more of a build up before sex. Gentle touches and kisses throughout the day, leading into more intense kissing and touching, then intercourse.
She certainly sounds like she has some issues with sex, the more comfortable and relaxed he can get her the more receptve she is likely to be.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 08-24-2010 01:01 AM

She once got asked "what do you find attractive about me" and my mate got "don't know in response."

Have to admit, I asked a simular question to my ex-husband, after we separated, "what do you love about me", his answer was your good looking and intelligent...

What I wanted was, how I love him, my personality, anything than looks or brains, which spells, handbag and money.

I couldn't look him in the eye after that and needless to say that was it, it was over.

So perhaps as 'he doesn't know' she feels like she's just a sex object when she really wants to feel loved.

CW