Thread: Husbands secret love child

Hi every one. It has taken me awhile to write all this and admit there is this problem.

During the time my husband and I were having our own very precious children, he had an affair with a girl from work that I am convinced he loved more than me at the time and could not help himself as she threw herself at him too.

It went on for years with me suspecting and asking and of course him lying --I wont go in to it all here as you would need a week to read it--

It all got to the point where she was making him choose between me and my children and her.He then told me about it all and said he wanted desparately to stay with us as we have a very close family and he clamined to love me and wanted our children to grow up with both parents.

he did admit at the time that it was suspected that one of her children was in fact his and that when she told him she was pregnant she told him she wanted to keep it and would claim it to be her own husbands. --I still spin out when I think about it---

All I could think at the time was that this woman was not getting my life partner and the father of my children and that we would not be robbed of a "normal" life. They split.


then several months later she went to a solicitor to get my husband to sign a form stating he was the childs father, and to get us to pay child payments. I was the one that went to another solicitor who told us not to sign anything without scientific proof that he was the father.

She spat it and told her husband he was not the father and the solicitors went back and forwards with us ending up offering her a private agreement re money for the child even with out blood tests.

Husband was pretty sure he was in fact the father. she did not want that --Just wanted him to sign and I supect to split us up. -

It all stopped dead and we never heard from her again as far as I know and that was fifteen years ago. I have not trusted my husband at all and he tell me he adores me but we hardly speak about it much but have manage to bring up our children in a loving close environment and they are doing so well in life but they have NO IDEA.

I have not spoken to another soul about it either. It is all inside but I am amazingly stable I think.

Waht I want to ask all of you is your opinion on wehter or not to tell my children now. they are teens and we still all live in the same town. I see the other child occasionally. God it cuts--- the child is a freind of one of my childrens friends and I know they will come across one another at some stage.

I have no idea what she child has been told re her real father or if she has been told anthing at all.

Should I tell my children. I dont want to hurt them. they think we are all perfect Will it tip them over the edge. I am willing to suffer for ever if it means protecting my babies. i adore them moe than life itself.

This news wuld shock everybody we know as everybody thinks my husband and I are perfect. all my family included.

Sometimes I wonder if the whole world knows and I am living in a dream wold where everyone is protecting me by not talking of it. I hve no idea. My husband and i are very close and will never split. What do I do re the children though. Would love your thoughts ---advice--- please. Thanks Robbed amazingly stable I think.