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Thread: the end of my ldr. Help!!

  1. #11
    jns
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    Please describe your and his situation in more detail. Could he be getting pressure to end it because of differences in cultures?

  2. #12
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    When he came to my country 2 months ago, he told me that his life in Saudi Arabia was fantastic. Good job, salary and holidays every 3 months. Every weekend he has parties with his colleagues and other expats. So, I do not think that he has pressure because the culture is different. He told me that he wants to stay there until 2012, when his contract expires. It seems that he is going our more than we used it to do when were living in Europe.

    I think he wants to split up and when someone wants to end a relationship any excuse is perfect.

  3. #13
    jns
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    I misunderstood the situation. He is from Europe, doesn't speak Spanish, and has a work contract in Saudi Arabia.

    He told you that he was unsure about marrying you since you two used to have arguments and you told him not to get in touch anymore. This made him scared about the relationship, which he had already put on shaky ground by opting against future marriage.

    It sounds like you both brought out your big guns and fired at each other. Neither fought hard for the relationship. The results were pretty predictable. If you wanted this ldr to succeed, you would have got him to soften his position on marriage and leave that question open. Now it seems that you are both having regrets, but not in a major way.

    It is probably best to break up if this is going to be common through your relationship. For a ldr to succeed, you both have to be truly in love or at least committed to make it work no matter what.

  4. #14
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    Our LDR has been a roller coaster. When he went to Saudi the relationship was good. Until, we started having arguments, because of his jealousy. I was very annoying with him, because I had to show him with the web cam that I was alone in the flat and not with some one else. When I was speaking with him on line and if my phone was ringing, even if it was my brother he started to be very angry. So, I told him that it was better to do not speak for a few weeks, while both of us we could calm down.

    A few weeks later, I had to come to my home country for personal reasons. When I called him to say that I was leaving Europe, he was very cold. Then, he called me on msn. When I was speaking with him a friend called me and my bf was again very angry and jealous. I was very angry, because I was in a very difficult situation and he was horrible with me. Thee, he called me again. He told me that everything was my fault. I told him that he should be very happy, because he will not see me anymore. When I told him that, he started to cried a lot. He told me that he loves me and he would leave his job to be with me. I cried a lot and I told him that I love him a lot, but that he does not need to leave his job for me.

    After that he told to his mother if she can stay with me in the flat before I left. His mother was with me for a couple of days.

    When, I arrive to my home country. He started to be very distant with me. He sent me an email to say that it was better to not continue together because we are far away. However, he continued to send me more e-mails.

    Then, he contacted my friends in Europe to ask for my details. He told them that he miss me. Then, he called me and told me that he was thinking about future planes for us. And that he will come to South America to see me and meet my family.

    He came two months ago. We had a great time together. I felt that he was the only one. He told me that he came because he was thinking in marry me and he wanted a family with me. I was very happy. However, he told me that he needs one month to decide.

    When he left, we were very romantic in our calls and e-mails. But suddenly, he was cold again, and he told me that he was not sure. Then you know, he split up with me and I blocked him of my msn, facebook and skype.

    I decided to have no contact with him, because I am sick of his insecurities. And I do not want his insecurities will affect me again in a big way

    Sorry for the long story....

  5. #15
    jns
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    The long story told the rest of the story, thank you.

    It sounds like he is very jealous, much more than is good. He sent his mother to keep track of you and uses your friends to do the same. Is there any reason for this, such as infidelity on your part in the past? If not and possibly if so, I would say he is too jealous and that you are not going to happy in a relationship with him over the long run.

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    I have not cheated on him ever.

    When we were in Europe, my male friends stop calling me, because they know that he will be very angry. I spent all my free time with him, so no chances.

    When he came to my country. He asked me if I was dating someone else, becuase two mal friends called me to my mobile phone. One day we were watching a football match during the world cup. Both of us, started talking with the other people who were watching the match with us.

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    Both of us started talking with the other people who were watching the match with us. Two foreigners just asked me which Spanish schools are good in my country and they told me that they would like to meet people to learn Spanish. My ex heard that and he told me that we must to leave the place right now.

    When, we arrived to the hotel he told me that he was very jealous. I told him that they know that he was my bf and I that I only love him.

    I feel that he does not like when I told him that I am with some friends. He started making funny comments and being angry.

  8. #18
    jns
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    The more I hear, the more I think, you can do better, way better. What do you friends and family say about him? Would your family like to have him as an in-law? How does he fit in at your family gatherings?

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    My friends tell me that 3.5 years is enough time to decide of we are going to get marry or not. They think that he is a selfish person, because he decided to go to Saudi Arabia, when we were living together. My friends agree that I should not speak with him.

    When he came to my country, the majority of my family loved him, specially my parents. They told me that they will be very happy if get marry him. But now, my mum changed her concept about him. She told me that if he loves he should decide now and not messing around. My mum told me that he should not came to my country without bring a ring. She told me as well that I should not speak with him.

    My brother does not like him. My brother thinks that he is not good enough for me. He is very happy that I split up with him.

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