Thread: the end of my ldr. Help!!

Sounds to me that he is feeling guilty and wants you to be "Oh its okay"...but its not okay and he needs to realize that he hurt you and you need your space right now. He can't expect you to just take him back after 2 years if you're both single because that just means you're his last resort. No man like that deserves the respect of a woman. I think you're doing the right thing by not replying. It would only make it worse. A clean cut is the best solution to this problem because you can't really resolve anything for a couple years, so why put yourself through the misery? Stay strong! One day he'll realize how he made a big mistake, but you'll be happy and content with your life and have peace of mind.

You are right about cutting off communication with him. He keeps emailing you because he feels guilty and remorseful for what he's done, and probably realized how much he's lost.

Be strong. Stay firm and keep up with not replying his emails for now. Have that space for yourself and try to move on. Seems like you are managing well anyway. LDRs are hard to maintain, but not impossible. And when you do, you both know that you chose to be together because you love each other, distance is not a barrier.

Have this time to see if you still feel strongly for him and if he does the same way after a few months. You can tell him on your last email that you want space and you could keep in touch after 6 months (or whenever you think you're ready emotionally to do so), or just ignore him and hope he'll take the hint. If he really is head-over-heels for you and couldn't afford to lose you, even after you severed the ties, he'll come around and see you, even propose and commit to you.

As for now, live your life to it's potential. Exercise, attend classes - yoga, circuit training, Women's groups, etc. Get out there and meet new friends. Date once your heart is ready. Take the time to heal and re- evaluate your plans for your life 5 years from now.

Take care.

Dear Lizzard and Caterpillar:

Thanks for your comments. Both replies are really nice and help me to be strong and stick on my decision.

Next month I planning to back to his home country. I am going to live there again for professional reasons. He does not know about my future planes and I do not want that he knows.

However, he has my new credit card, I guess that I need to e-mail him to say that he needs to send it by post to a friend's address. Also, his parents got all my correspondance and my books and material of my master's degree. So, I need to pick up all my stuff, when my ex bf is not his country for holidays. He works in the Middle East and have holidays every three months.

You can report your credit card lost and just ask for replacement. You may ask his folks to ship all your stuff to you - just send them money for shipping costs. There is no reason to go back there and feel the hurt once more.

And yes, by the time you are going back there for professional purposes, and if, at that time you are really through with him, he doesn't have to know you're coming. He'll learn about it anyway.

Stick to your no contact policy until you are emotionally ready to face him again.

Dear Caterpillar:

Thanks for your advice. I will not contact him for the credit card, I will report the lost of the credit card to the bank.

I have not though about the shipping idea. It is a very good idea. I do not want that he and his parents think that I am looking for excuses to get close to him again.

I do not konw if one day I will be ready to speak with him again.