Stubborn Boyfriend

**PumpkinPie** · 09-01-2010 03:18 PM

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Lets start this topic off. I have the most stubbornest person in the world. when we argue he never ever makes first contact and it really gets to me. there has been several instances where he has majority of the time no way will he make contact. We are in a long-distant relationship so we hardly ever see each other and when we do its the best thing ever. When we aint together its either really good or really bad - no middle ground if you know what i mean.

Anyways we have gotten into a small petty argument and we havent spoken for a few days now. I really want him to contact me but i am missing him so much but i dont want to always be the one having to go back.

**angel wings** · 09-01-2010 05:44 PM

i agree that you shouldnt be the one having to make the first move all the time after an argument, i can see how that would get to anyone...it would certainly get to me....my bf can also be stubborn, very actually and i thought i was lol........if we have an argument though and say im wrong then i make the first move, if hes wrong well lets just say he doesnt think hes wrong often lol but he will apoligise but it might take him awhile but we never ever go days without sorting it out.....if the arugment wasnt your fault then i dont see why you have to be the one making the first move constantly because all that will end up doing in the end is make you resentful everytime you do have one....or contact him and explain to him how it makes you feel when it is you having to make the first move all the time after you have had an argument....see what he says...

**echoskybound** · 09-18-2010 01:12 AM

How do you normally make contact after an argument, do you apologize? Do you contact him like normal afterwards by saying "How are you, I miss you" or anything like that? I wouldn't feel right if I always had to be the first one to issue an apology after an argument, I would start to feel like he's never sorry for anything. Stubborness is difficult to deal with, I have a very stubborn roomate myself who really doesn't like being wrong so I've learned to give up on discussions... that's harder with a boyfriend though. Distance is a tough strain too. Does he act like this when you're actually together?

**auntie_awesome** · 09-18-2010 10:18 PM

As someone who spent years in a long-distance relationship and came through it to finally be married....it sounds as if YOU are in a long-distance relationship and your BF is out doing his own thing.

A relationship is 50/50...even during long distance. If you are always the one to make contact, then there is a problem.

**jns** · 09-19-2010 03:33 PM

Originally Posted by auntie_awesome

As someone who spent years in a long-distance relationship and came through it to finally be married....it sounds as if YOU are in a long-distance relationship and your BF is out doing his own thing.

A relationship is 50/50...even during long distance. If you are always the one to make contact, then there is a problem.

Precisely.

I don't think your bf is LDR material if he plays games like this. It comes off as controlling. Even if there is only one person who initiates the contact, such as a LDR that has phone charges in one direction being ridiculously high, that person is obligated to make contact at the right time, even if there are unresolved issues.