I have a big feeling my boyfriend is gay, but I have no proff and can't tell for sure

**shaybabycakes** · 09-01-2010 11:59 PM

I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and I think he may be gay.
I am 17
Boyfriend is 20.
His father is 45.

Long story but want to know if he is!
Boyfrined is person A.
His adoptive dad is person B.

When A was younger (16 years) he got abondonded by his parents and didnt have a place to live or anything to eat. He never grew up in a good home and still has some mental issues from his past.
To support himself on his own he "sold himself" on craigslist to MEN!
Later down the road he got adopted at 17 by a 45 year old single male B. B is gay. B is also 45 years.
B has alot of money. I met him a year after he had been living with this guy. We are very sexually active and has a veryyyy high sex drive. A calls B father and B calls A son. They say they love eachother like a father and son would. They go out to eat alot, but that could be because B has so much money. They also go to california every 4 months or so for vacation cuz B has ALOT of money.
A has some anger people and they clash alot. They get into some bad fights but B says he wants to help A get over his rough past and become a better person. They usually invlolve me in the going out to dinners and movies and i even go with them on vacation sometimes. They took of to L.A. for christmas 2009 and then flew me down the day after christmas. Spend the actually day with my family. Before I came down they got into a huge fight while down there one night. During the yelling at eachother I was listening on the phone. My boyfriend set the phone down and acted like he got off but didnt hang up cuz his dad didnt want me listening. He picked up the phone cuz he going to ignore his dad, his dad realized I was on the phone and said ob by the way we have been having sex while he has been with you. A freaked out and was like your f***ing gross, what the he*l you talking about and everything. They eventually got off the subject and acted like it was never said. I have always been curious but when i ask him why his dad said that he says he dont know and he would rather not think about it cuz its gross. I dropped it. 4 months later I went through his emails on his phone and found naked pictures sent to a boatnutbill email. Obviously a guy. I never confronted him cuz he gets to angry about things. That was a year ago. I didnt think about it anymore but lately it has came to my mind. they are going out more and i cant be involved cuz i got a job. about a week ago I was massaging his back after having "special time" and noticed on both butt checks (even though he dont have much) there was a spot where it was like dry skin. then it randomly poped in my head if he was gay! now im starting to be really supicous and idk if its just my mind or what. but i think he is gay with his dad! they go out together so much. his dad randomly sent him 1800 dollars in his paypay then transfered it to his bank. then another thing that he has always done it when his dad says anything to him when he is on the phone with me he puts me on mute so i cant hear.

We have sex alot and even while his dad is in the house. and his dad doesnt seem to mind. i know he has to know what were doing he just jokes about it and says things like have fun, and you guys are crazy kids and just joking comments.

His dad has also had a boyfriend during the times of me and my boyfriend being together. my boyfrined seemed just fine with it.

My boyfriend accepts the fact that his dad is gay very well but also says its gross and doesnt bring it up much.

IDK if he is bi or not! I don't want to confront him about it and have a huge fight between us. BUT I want to know the truth.

If I get enough people thinking he is bi then I will confront him. I just want other peoples opinions on if they would think the same thing as I do.

**jns** · 09-02-2010 12:41 AM

It sounds like he is functionally bi. He probably still has gay sex with his adoptive father, but it sounds like he enjoys straight sex more. The money is probably a big part why he continues that relationship. Volatility in their relationship is similar to what I saw of gay relationships 25 years ago when I lived in Hollywood. The difference in age and financial stability may have something to do with that.

**rcoreyus** · 09-02-2010 10:50 AM

If he was having sex with his adoptive father, then that man has committed a felony. This is one of few cases where I think that the punishments for sex crimes are not too severe. Having sex with an adopted child is an unforgivable breach of trust. The parent / child relationship is a completely different thing from a sexual relationship.

In addition to doing untold psychological damage to his "son", if he father is caught (and he should be), then he has done great damage to the cause of gay rights. There has been a long struggle for equal rights for gays - including the right to adopt children. One case like this that becomes public will poison people's views.

If the "adopted" is in quotes, then the "father" is still having sex with a minor - still a felony, and still unacceptable in that situation .

Your poor boyfriend is probably very confused and disturbed.

**Hopeless Dork** · 09-02-2010 11:50 AM

It sounds like your boyfriend has a 'sugar daddy'.... your boyfriend told you he prostitute himself for money to men, he is an adult living with an older gay man he calls 'daddy' that is not related to him. You have a feeling he might be gay? I think the flags are all there that he is at the very least bisexual. What you need to find out is if he is faithful to you, and whether or not you are comfortable with him in this relationship.

If it were an older woman he lived with... that bought him all these things and you knew he use to prositute himself out to older women... how would you feel about that? Don't let the gay factor detour you from the real issue... is he faithful.

**rhiannon34** · 09-02-2010 01:34 PM

Sounds to me like he probably does have sex with his dad. Mabye he does because he wants to, mabye because he is accustomed to having sex in return for money and he does it to ensure he is taken care of. Either way it's cheating on you.

**Seniora** · 09-03-2010 12:54 AM

The Yuk factor in this is way out of control. Seedy things are going on in your world which properly belong in the realm of Jerry Seinfield!! Get away from ALL OF THEM, unless you feel you just cannot do any better than that - in which case you stay and suffer!! The choice is yours: self-respect and singledom or no self-respect and a menage a toir (spelling, sorry!). Try starting a new life - doing a course and meeting some intelligent people who are going to make you feel better about yourself and worthy of something better than this rubbish.

**BabyGirl** · 09-03-2010 06:51 AM

Still trying to understand that if you are 17 and Guy " A" is having sex with you and he's 20 ,why Guy "A" is not procecuted along with Guy " B" for sex crimes ?

Doesn't matter if Guy "A" is having Sex with Guy " B" . They are Adults and unless Guy " B" had sex with Guy " A " before he was 18 ( which if he was " Adopted" at 17 it is most likely) but if not then no Criminal charges can be filed for having sex with each other.

But Guy "B" can be a Co-Defendant in a case against Guy "A" for allowing the sex between you and " A" in his home, it's considered Endangerment of a Child.

And Yes, you are still a Child, legally if you are under 18, in the USA. I read that you know his parental abandonment and that he has found an Older Gentleman to help him grow up, one with evidently " deep Pockets".
Whether he is Gay, Bi, Straight or still not knowing what he is sexually typed as , you as a legal child are being abused. And i reccomend that you talk with a resource that can and will help you with your own issues of why you have feelings for someone who is so confusing to you in his actions.

Your heart seems to be in the right mode for the right reasons. Your Body does not belong in a place where you have to ask , even yourself, if what is happining or worrying you, If it is Right / Normal/ Lawful ?

Where are your Parents or Parent or other Family ? That was not asked for in judgement of you but someone besides yourself must be protecting you from things like this, that is a parents responsibility.

**rcoreyus** · 09-03-2010 08:45 AM

Oops, I missed that the original poster is under age too. Argh - I think tha'ts a record number of felonies for a single post.. Just get away from all these people NOW. Nothing good will come of this.

**4all2c** · 09-03-2010 10:08 AM

I agree with rcoreyus. You are far too young for this bul. He is bi. Thats a fact. And what do intend to do if you know the truth. Leave. Throw stones. Accept it. Join in. You need to know what your resolution will be. Truth hurts and sometimes we cant handle it. HE IS BI.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 09-03-2010 01:53 PM

Consensual sex age in most states is 16.

Sounds fishy......follow your gut instinct, it's probably right. I hope you're using protection.......more than just birth control.