I want to move out
My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for almost two years. We have been living together for about 16 months. Because a new job offer fell through and having trouble finding a new job, he offered me a position in his business. I accepted, of course.
However, lately, I think us living and working together is really wearing on both of us. We have been fighting a lot...which is rare for us.
I feel like me moving out is the best option. I don't want to break up, but I'm sick of fighting and I'm afraid it's only going to get worse if we don't get our space.
However, I also feel like moving out may be taking us a step back too.
I don't know what to do. We've been fighting over stupid things. For example, I got mad at him because he didn't like the dinner I made. It's not even over stuff important.
He's a good man. I trust him. He loves me and provides for me and works hard.
Will moving out hurt us?
"Look both ways before you cross the street"
I too see moving out (yet staying together) a bit of a step backward. Do you guys share the same office at work? Do you think it's just the extra being together-ness that's making you fight? If so, then I'd focus on finding a different job your first priority, rather than moving out.
I think it's us constantly being together. He owns a landscaping company, so I'm in the truck with him and on jobs with him about 30-35 hours a week as my school schedule allows.
I am an independent person by nature and moving in with him was a huge step for me. I kind of want that "freedom" back. Does that mean I love him less? I have no idea.
I just know I'm sick of bickering over stupid things lately and I don't want to turn it in to something bigger. We're both stressed out. I'm in school full time and he manages his business and 65 clients full time.
"Look both ways before you cross the street"
If you and your boss weren't in a relationship, you would grumble about what he asked you to do and then when you got home to your bf you would let it out. As it is, when you get home you see it is the same person and he probably isn't sympathetic to your problems with your boss. Thus you have no release. Moving out will only give you space, not a release with your bf. You need another job or to go over ground rules with your bf so you don't get upset from things he asks you to do and he isn't too autocratic or even needs to be.
I agree with the others.
It takes two special people to actually be able to work and live together, (in your face), being delegated to by your SO, etc..
Yet, two people living together, can still have their space. I live 2 days a week with my boyfriend and he, 3 days a week with me, that gives us 2 days a week alone time and it enables us to miss each other, and remain independent. Even when he moves in full time, I will have independence as we work different hours and different jobs, however, both have the freedom to ensure that we have a fair amount of "us" time as well, as the hours don't have to clash too much...
You need in my opinion to love, living together, share things, cook together, laugh together, make the bed together, feel the equality, together... And you need me time as well.
CW
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
Why not go get another job and let him hire a laborer? That will give you the separation you may be looking for.Originally Posted by asiangrace
Friendship Prayer
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.
Amen
Whoever said anything was possible obviously never tried slamming a revolving door.
I think rather than moving out, getting a job somewhere else might be the better option. I think couples that work together and live together can sometimes have a fantastic relationship and for others it can be a bit too much. If its impossible for you to work seperately... perhaps each of you taking up some seperate hobbies that give you time away from each other a few nights a week. That or finding space for each other within your home... him giving you time alone to read, or watch tv or play games or work out etc... you guys don't have to be always in the same room, etc.
I think moving out is a step backward, unless you are sort of wanting to wean yourself out of this relationship, I think it might not be the best move. Some couples work fantastically living a part... but after living with him for a year and a half the dynamic will change so much living seperately that it could be the catalyst to you guys realizing you're not right for each other...
Which might not be a bad thing if you are really not... but it sounds like he makes you happy and you him, soo i think getting a different job or finding ways to give each other space at home might be the best option.
Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.
My advice - calm down, think of where you feel about the relationship where you think you are both headed. Do you want to marry this man, if so, moving out would be a step in the opposite direction. However, it is obvious you are spending too much time together and something has got to give. Quit your job and get another. If you think that you are not headed for marriage then move out and/or quit the job.
Either way you have to sit with each other and decide what you want from the relationship and how to solve the issues to keep things going in the right direction.
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