Thread: could use some advuce

I know that it hurts you, and it's hard to see past that feeling to understand maybe why you're feeling that way, and why they're doing what they're doing. Something extremely important to remember here, is that just as you have your demons, fears, issues........they have theirs too.

What you did scared them. They've already lost someone else from almost the exact same thing. Do you think they are convinced you are done with that part of your life? Done with the drinking? Done with the drugs? You have not recovered.....and they know this. They don't want to feel responsible for your actions if you're with them, which is why they only want you around if your parents are there. They're scared and unsure of what you might do. Does that make sense?

And the reason for this is, they of all people know that they cannot help an individual who does not want to be helped. What I mean by this is, if you're drinking and/or using drugs and are suicidal, it is not in their power to help you. You have to help yourself. And you have to show those around you that you are stable, that you are trustworthy, and that they don't have to tip toe on eggshells in fear they'll say something to send you over the edge.

The fact that you're turning to a bar for comfort, simply reinforces their fear. And their fear is that you will be on a downward spiral until you decide to pick yourself up and get out of it. And until you get yourself out of that downward spiral...they cannot trust you and do not want to suffer another loss like they already have.

Things will get better. IF you want them to. If you're old enough to go to bars, you're old enough to join a gym, to participate in group sports, to take an art class, a dance class, to attend college courses, etc. There are LOTS of things you can do to be around people that do not involve alcohol and drugs. And most importantly, you can get help and it sounds like that's definitely something you need to do in order to wipe this slate clean with yourself and start new.

Work on yourself. Work on making you a better you, and making your life a better life. And in the meantime, be patient and understand that you have to build trust with those around you. All actions have consequences, and the consequences of your previous alcohol, drug abuse / suicide are that people are insecure about you, and you'll have to regain their trust. And I have a feeling if you put your mind to it, you'll succeed with flying colors.