How do you get a boyfriend?

**Zahara** · 09-11-2010 12:58 AM

Hi, I never had a boyfriend before so I'm just wondering how people actually get boyfriends, how do you get someone to ask you out? Also, what is a date? As in, what do you do on a date, what's the etiquette etc.? I don't even know how to kiss and I need to know how to do that as well. Oh and what do bf and gf even do together? What's the point anyway? Also once you're gf and bf when do you have to have sex? I don't like being naked infront of people really. Sorry if I sound like a 10 year old, but I honestly have never experienced any of these things before so any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks!

**WildChild** · 09-11-2010 08:21 AM

How old are you?
Where (at least generally) are you?
Bf/Gf is what you chose to make it. There aren't any rules unless to chose to act as if there are. You don't have to have sex or not have it, that's your choice.
The point (which seems to have been largely forgotten) should be to be learning what you want and don't want in a life partner (which may be a long ways off) to have fun together, to explore your responses and his, to learn to communicate and connect with others.
In this day and age you don't have to wait for a boy to ask you, you can ask him. But do be warned some guys would love that some can't handle it at all.
Mostly relax and have fun with it.

**Zahara** · 09-11-2010 09:47 AM

Thanks for your advice WildChild

Where do I live - under a rock maybe? Lol! I'm 17 on Monday, thats pathetic right, you'd think I'm 12, but I've just been so focused on my school work all these years I never noticed much of what was going on around me at all. I was and still am very uneducated when it comes to boys and relationships and such. I thought there was no point and that it would only be a burden you know, to have a boyfriend? Because then you'd have to entertain some weird guy when you need that time for homework, studying, getting on with your life. I saw my friends in these pointless "relationships" that chaged every week - stupid game I thought, and for what? Plus I thought boys were too immature for me, annoying even. Well now I'm so close to legal adulthood I just might as well say I'm one now, so I think I should start exploring this world of males and such, if only for life experience, I mean, I don't want to be an oddball forever and it would be sad if I'd never gone on a date or kissed at say 25 or something. I need to stop walking with my eyes on the pavement, or my nose in a book!

**rcoreyus** · 09-11-2010 10:56 AM

The first time you go somewhere with someone it doesn't need to be a "romantic" date, can just be doing something fun together (in fact probably better that way). These days it is perfectly OK for women to ask men out.

My feeling is that its better to be friends first, then date. Are they any boys that you know socially. If so, you could suggest something fairly neutral to do - go to a movie, lunch, hiking, some sort of charity event, etc.

If you don't have any male friends, you should get used to talking to men. (this is really tough for both men and women). One thing to keep in mind is that a lot of the quiet withdrawn boys are really very nice - just too shy to start a conversation.

You don't need to kiss or do anything intimate on a date - it is entirely up to you - I'd suggest just going with your feelings at the moment. Sex is not expected - though it does happen sometimes - I suggest you wait on that until you have been with someone for a while.

There are always jerks, but most men will not react badly to directly being asked out. (I was a very shy teenager - but would have loved it if some girl had asked me out - I just couldn't get up the courage to do it myself).

What do you like to spend your time doing - hobbies, interests, etc?

**xxredroz3xx** · 09-11-2010 03:40 PM

well. my first boyfriend was at 21 like with nooo experience... i meet him at a car show when i went with my brother he thought i was my brothers girlfriend lol.. my brother was like no thats my sister, he was very nice ive never heard of him or knew who he was. my brother knew him from school, well that night i decided to add him in myspace thinking maybe he maybe thinks me but my brother was like no he's like that very friendly so i didnt get excited thinking he was just being nice.... well we started talking the day after that car show from 4pm til 6am lol on aim, then he asked me out jan.26 2009 and we've been together since. he was my first in everything my first kiss lol in which i was embrassed because being 21 and never been kissed, so all i can say is take it slow never be with someone just because you just want a "boyfriend".