Are all relationships hard and complicated?

**lizzardb63** · 09-11-2010 04:16 PM

My boyfriend and I talk about marriage and buying a house together. We get along and love each other very much, but we argue. About some of the dumbest stuff! It's so frustrating because sometimes its my fault, sometimes its his, and it gets exhausting. Do all couples fight stupid like us? Is it normal? We've never faught to the point of breaking up, but its just frustrating.

**JadedQueen** · 09-11-2010 04:34 PM

Yes... ALL couples fight and believe it or not an occasional fight is actually healthy for a relationship. The main things you have to keep in mind is always fight fair... don't bring up issues that have been dealt with and resolved in the past, don't say things that you will regret later.

When I was married we had fights over stupid insignificant things and after giving it some thought I realized there was a pattern to some of these stupid fights... at least on my part what I discovered was all those little irritating things he would do would kinda build up and after so many little irritations we would get into a fight usually started by me and usually over something not related to the things he had done to irritate me and more often than not it was over something totally insignificant... I also think some of it had to do with that time of the month wrapped up in there as well. All couples fight, and sometimes it's over things that really don't matter. It's normal as long as it doesn't get out of hand.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 09-11-2010 04:58 PM

I always tend to think, that fighting in a relationship is down to:-

1. Not understsanding each other well enough, to discuss
2. PMT

3. Feeling in-secure and not knowing how to broach the subject

**lizzardb63** · 09-11-2010 05:10 PM

Well the fights don't usually get out of hand, but he does bring up things from the past, which just escalades the argument to the point where we look at each other and go... okay this was stupid. I am just venting I guess.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 09-11-2010 05:13 PM

Alot of people have trouble with their SO's past, male or female...

Past is exactly that and not important, what is, is the present and the future..

Some people need alot of re-assurance over that, and other's it's just in their nature to have some jealousy issues over what can't be changed

Venting is fine

**LanaBear** · 09-11-2010 07:10 PM

Anybody who tells you being in a relationship is easy, probably isn't telling the truth. They are hard and complicated, things get said during arguments that shouldn't be, feelings get hurt, etc.

We argue over the STUPIDEST stuff and the stupider it is, the more pissed I get. I have what you call a temper and it comes out with a vengeance during a disagreement. It sucks to admit, but I'm not a pleasant person when I'm mad.

Other than telling you that it happens to everyone, I wish I could offer more advice, but you'll fight and argue, but if you can communicate hopefully they won't last long.

**stressed** · 09-12-2010 04:49 AM

Yes... EVERY couple I know argues, be it over little or serious issues. No matter who it is, when you spend every day with the same person you argue. Whether it's your partner or your mom. It just happens. It's human. But what you can do is learn from every argument and try different approaches, be more patient, listen to each other more and try to understand. Learn from your mistakes. What helps the most is realize that it's alright to disagree. Having different opinions doesn't always have to lead to an argument.
I'd find it boring if I had exactly the same opinion as my SO and we never argued. It wouldn't feel right. Arguments show care in a way.