Thread: I feel so alone!

Drama28 what you are experiencing is the 'text book' end
of a relationship.

An older married guy gets involved with a young woman.
He has ABSOLUTELY NO INTENTION OF LEAVING HIS WIFE
EVER.
But he won't say anything like that.
He'll talk about how his marriage has been on the rocks
for years, how he stopped loving his wife long ago, how
they only stayed together for the children, the house,
the dog, because she's a mental case---yada yada boom.

The Other Woman believes everything he says.
Does everything he wants her to do.
And tells her how much he loves her.

In truth, she's nothing to him except a screw.
And she will be discarded when;
a) he finds someone younger/prettier
b) his wife finds out about her

He will only 'come back' to you if;
a) the younger prettier woman dumps him (or being
intelligent, runs him like the cur he is)
b) his wife is either i) lulled into a sense of security
ii) gets involved in activities which
take her out of the house and
give him free time
iii) his new girl friend won't do
the things you do, so he'll
use you when he wants them.

I can fill this post with real stories, (among other things
I do divorces) where the 'Other Woman', finds out that;
a) his 'basket case wife' is actually a vibrant business
leader and is so busy that he feels neglected and tells
his gal of the minute lies
b) not only will he never leave his wife,but if she goes
near his wife he will put her in a hospital.

Take this as a lesson to never be the other woman.
You will only hear lies, pure lies.

Your 'lover' has lied to you from day one, never loved
you, never will love you, and will not leave his wife.

Two pathetic cases I must share:

Many years ago, I was having a conversation
one evening with two friends. One lived across
the road, the other was the son of Mr. Smith
via a previous relationship.

'Y', a very pumped up Other Woman, is marching to
the Gate of Mr. & Mrs. Smith.

We see this 'idiot' jumping out of a cab, flinging
open the Gate, and Big Son shouts, excuse me?
She tosses some feisty remark as she goes up the
walk, when the dogs race at her.

The Big Son of Mr. Smith grabs her, saying something
like, "Hey Gal, if you don't get out of my yard, I'll box
you down and call the police."

There is pure barking, and she's acting like she was just
released from a mental institution, screaming out the
name of her beloved.

"What you calling my father for, Gal?" the big son
asks.

Well, she never knew he had a son her age.
In fact, she never knew anything near the
truth, but was so certain of her 'facts' she was
confronting us with them.

We start cracking up. We couldn't help it.
Everything out of her mouth was ridiculous.

From who owned what to who did what....pure
fantasy.

But she was so pumped with lies it took about
thirty minutes for her to realise it.

BTW Mr. & Mrs weren't home, they'd gone to
some function.

Subsequently, of course, Mr. Smith denied
ever having an affair with Y and claimed she
was a mad gal, but we weren't buying it, the
wife didn't buy it, and threw him out...(it was
her house)...

It was so funny to see this stupid woman yammering
about Mr. Smith, not one piece of truth in the story.

She was so stupid she had believed every lie he
had told her; no room in her mind for the possibility
he was lying.

BTW, it was Y's fault that Mrs. Smith threw him
out and he hated Y after that, cursing her, only
prevented from doing her physical damage by
others.

Y was just too stupid to live.

Mr. C, (who can't keep his willy one place) had been
forced to split his company between his wife and
two big sons, so that he only owned 1/4th and received
a small salary.

This was to prevent him giving away his children's
'legacy' to Doris Openleg.

Hottygal starts this affair with him.

He's giving her the usual, 'me and my wife live separate
lives', and tells her how much he 'loves' her.

The relationship goes on for a while, she even has
a baby for him, and then he tells her something about
having to go away on 'business' for two weeks.

Just before he leaves on 'business' she finds out that
he's actually going on a cruise with his wife. As usual.

Hotty makes a fuss, he tosses her out of the flat
he'd put her in, handles her like dirt, and there she
is, with no money, a hungry baby, and he's on a
Cruise ship with his wife.

I just don't understand. I can get what you are saying, but why does that always have to be the case? Can't there be exceptions to the rule? I know that he hasn't just lied to me about everything. I have met his family and seen where he lives, works, ect. I know where she works, their b-days, , he even took me to another state a few years ago to meet his brother(his only living relative-other than his immediate fam.) We talk about everthing and the only thing that I doubt now is if he really loves me enough to stay with me. I know that you prob. just think I am in denial and that I should just get over it and move on; but I just don't think that is the case...at least not yet. I deserve more of an explaination and I will not take no for an answer. He is a caring person and even is there for his grand-kids so I really don't think he would leave his own daughter out in the cold! I just need to think good thoughts at least until I hear more. I can't think horrible thoughts or I won't be able to make it, I am already going crazy! Thanks for the help, but please somebody tell me I am not all wrong! I need any words of encouragment that I can get! Thanks again!

I really appreciate that post! It was very nice. Yes, I do think he is a caring man and hopefully will come around at least for our daughter's sake. I have been in counseling for the past like 6 years, although I haven't found a new therapist since mine retired in Dec. of last year because she had cancer. I need to find one that won't just judge my situation because I have seen those types before and it isn't helpful at all. Yes, I do belive in God even though I don't have a church that I attend. I do trust in God and that I will make it through it, but it is hard for me to believe that even though it is a "sin" that God would have allowed us to fall in love and create an innocent child if it wasn't meant to be. I know we all have "free will", but I don't think that my being with him was and "accident or mistake" I really thought we were meant for each other, we have always felt a deeper connection, like we had always known each other, ya know? I just hope that he doesn't feed into the "guilt" of being a "sinner" for this because guilt does not solve anything and it doesn't make it go away either! We have been here for 3 years and I refuse to just disapear like I'm sure his family is hoping for. I just hope and pray he told her the whole truth about being in love and having a baby, although at this point I am not thinking he did, at least not yet. I'm sure he didn't want to "kill" her with it all at once, even though that would have been easier I think. Like you said, only time will tell, and his actions will speak louder than words. I hope his actions and words happen sooner vs. later and are nicer than the 2.5 seconds on the phone on Mon. because that was devastating. Please say a prayer for me I need all of them I can get!

I met john 9 years ago. He was married when we met, and he had children. He had told me that he was no longer in love with his wife and was just staying with her for the kids. When she found out about me she moved out and left the kids for him to take care of. This year we'll be married for eight years and have a big family. I have been taking care of his kids like they were my own and we now have two beautiful kids together. My family always told me it wasn't going to work, but we've shown them otherwise. We've have our ups and downs and some times were tough but we stuck by each other.