Thread: I kept pushing him, now he cracked. Somebody please help me :( I'm in desperate nee

*sighhhhhhh* I have felt so much emotions in the past 24 hours. The most I have ever felt in my life. Thank you all for the helpful advice. It really calms me and helps me to clear up this situation.

I have already apologized. I have apologized A MILLION TIMES. (He is actually telling me to stop and that it's ok) What a great man right? How could he possibly forgive me? But he has. He says he knows I'm sorry and sees it and hears it in my voice. I am truly sorry. I explained to him EVERYTHING why I did what I did. How I was just jealous and scared. I also owned up to everything. I explained to him that I should have NEVER handled it that way and I should have NEVER made him feel bad for his situation. Every time I apologize I start to cry. Not cause I want him to feel sorry for me, because I feel horrible. Just plain disgusted with myself Yesterday I snapped out of my ways and am a completely different person. Some may believe it takes time (like him) but I know I changed. I see the effect I had and I know for a fact I will NEVER argue or make him feel bad.

Now where to go from here. I accept his son, I think of his son and already love him. Why, because I am in love with this man. I told him this too. I told him I can't wait to meet him and if he moves to DC and his son wants to come visit or live with us, I would be more then happy. Before the whole fight/turning point I was going to visit him in Florida. He said during the day he may need to leave me alone while he goes out and looks for jobs. I said that is fine and asked if I could spend the day with his son cause I would like to get to know him. I have talked about how I want me and his son to go to Disney World together and how I'd probably have more fun with his son then going with him. (I'm a very playful person and a kid at heart.) I accept the situation, but does it hurt me, YES. But I love him and will do anything. You guys say don't force myself or push myself to like the situation. I don't know if I'm doing that. I'm not forcing myself, I'm willing to accept it because I love my man. I am willing for him and for us....is that a wrong reason to accept it?

Now this is what has been discussed with us. He says he still wants me and cares. I know he does. Last night he went out to dinner with his friends at a bar/grill. Had some drinks and he was texting me THE ENTIRE TIME he was there. He said he was buzzed and that drinking is making him miss me more. He says he wants to get through this. He says he is here for me. And that he is not quitting one me. He keeps saying sorry for putting me through this and let's work through this. Amazing right? After everything he blames himself and says he is putting ME through all of this. It isn't him, it was me. God I am so lucky. He cares so much about me. He is the victim, not me. But what gets me was the conversation we had before he went out. He said he wants to slow things down. Things are cloudy. He doesn't know where he wants to be. Before he use to be "I'll go wherever you are, I'll do anything to make this work. We're gonna get through this together." He was so sure that we're going to work. I told him last night, "I have changed, can we please get through this together." His response was, "We'll try." Can you imagine how I feel? To have a man all in this at one point willing to do anything, and not it's an unsure thing for him. All cause of my actions I made him this way. He says he wants to work and get past this. He says he wants the old happy me back that is always smiling. My problem is how do I bring that back? Right now I am scared and hurt. More scared now cause he is on the fence about us. How do I act all happy when I'm not? He wants to move forward and so do I. But I'm feeling sad for what I have done and scared in the end he won't want it so I can't possibly see how I can go back to that happy in-love girl.

Things have been realized. I have apologized. I have let him know what I realize I have done wrong. He is unsure and "iffy" about us but still wants to be with me. I am sad/upset/pissed at myself for what I have caused. He wants to go back to normal. How can we move forward when I'm feeling like ?

Oh how lucky I am to have a man who still wants to be with me still. I can't loose him. You guys mentioned to give him some time. I talked about that last night. I said I want him to think about HIS life before ours together. I said I don't want to leave him alone but I care so much about him and have been selfish and I want him to figure out things on his own. He says he doesn't want to be left alone. He said he wants what is best for US. I said I want what is best for HIM. Should I stick by his side and just support him as he figures out is life and where he wants to be. Or should I let him do it on is own?

If he chooses to go back to Florida instead of DC I just need to accept it right? Am I allowed to be sad about it? I feel like I'm not allowed, but I know I will. He wants to slow things down. How can I tone myself down when we have already talked about marriage and children with him? I just don't know how I'm suppose to act now.

I'm so sorry for all these questions. As you can all tell that I'm a mess. So many thought are going through my head. I just want to handle this the right way so that everything will be good with us again and he'll go back to being madly in love with me. I want to fix everything and I'm trying. It is nice to talk to people who don't know me. My friends and my sister are trying their best to help but they just seem to not be giving me helpful advice. All they keep doing is saying do you really accept it? Do you really want to be with him? Why are you talking about marriage? You need to finish school first? blah blah blah blah. They're questioning my feelings and just don't understand. I really appreciate having strangers so concerned with taking the time to listen to my problems and for not judging me or questioning my feelings. It is much appreciated!