Need some advice :(

**tinkabell92** · 10-03-2010 01:18 AM

I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. We had a few rought patches here and there the past 3 years, but nothing has been as bad as it is now. We have been having so much issues lately and he is really starting to show signs that he does not love me or care about me as much as he used to. Everyone keeps telling me to leave him and what the heck i'm doing with him, but its just so hard. Recently he made a new group of friends. I have met all of his other friends besides these guys, and his other friends are all a cool bunch of guys. But these specific new friends of his, well lets just say they are bad news. They associate with drugs, drink and change girlfriends every week. My boyfriend knows that I am not very fond with him going out with them, but I let him anyway because i guess i have no right to stop him because they are his friends. But now, its gotten to the point where I am feeling very frustrated and helpless. The other day he told me that next year he's going to be moving in with them in an apartment. I dont know why but this has gotten to me so much, they are not a good influence on him, and they arent a bunch of good guys as i said earlier.. He said hes doing this because he wants to become more 'independent' and 'mature', and when I told him, why dont me and him get an apartment together instead, he said yes but it has to be near them. What the heck!? I dont know what to do, because there may be a possibility that I dont move out from home, as my parents are very conservative and i dont want to upset them.. My boyfriend knows that I am not happy about this decision, but he's doing it anyway, even though i asked him to reconsider it. Not only this, but we are having so many other problems, everyone keeps telling me to leave him.. But i'm just not strong enough.. I have my major exams coming up in two weeks, I just dont know what to do..Any advice?

Some people might think im being insecure or something, but i just dont want him spending so much time with the wrong crowd...

**lonestar** · 10-08-2010 03:44 PM

Look-
If this guy shows no respect for your feelings, this is not a good guy. I know it is hard and these types of things always happen at the worst time (but really... when's the best time for a break up?). Also, sometimes guys just need a wake up call.
That being said, how old is he? In his early 20's, unfortunately, friends are everything to a guy it seems. That's what it was like with my ex (hence the word- ex). That's not the reason we broke up, but it was a major fight between us. He never wanted to spend any time with just me. If we had a night together, he would always suggest going over to so-and-so's house. All in all, I realized that relationship was just play time. I know it sucks, and you feel like you won't be able to live, but trust me... something better is on the way. Get out. This guy will only hurt you.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 10-08-2010 04:02 PM

People, do change un-fortunately.. It sounds like he has low self esteme and hanging out with the "crowd" makes him feel taller, stronger.

If these guys have enough influence on him, they will co-erse him into being a player, leave you.. You can't change someone, it's a learning curve for him that un-fortunately I don't believe your going to be able to stop..

Only he can see, he doesn't need them, but only when he's ready to see it.

You don't say what else he's doing, I suspect, putting you down, cancelling time together, verbally saying things you don't like.. Hopefully, that's the extent and nothing physical.. But, it's his right to do what he wants as long as it's not effecting another person, from the sounds of it, there are other issues that are close to your heart that isn't right.. People, don't suggest leaving someone unless, they know your not being treated as a person, perhaps they are right..

Two weeks, exams, concentrate on that only at the moment, two weeks isn't going to hurt you more, it's important, you need to pass, for you and your future...

Then consider, if you left him, do you think that he would finally see what he has/had? Would he then compromise for you? The only way to find that out, is to walk... not give in... and see what is more important, his new life, or you and the old life...

CW

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