Long lost love, engaged...

**kristalyn_04** · 10-06-2010 05:12 PM

Well, I just got some interesting news. The first person I fell in love with, which was a very long time ago (I was in my early teens), is now engaged. He was my childhood best friend, we met when we were 8 years old... we got very close and when we were about 9, he asked me to be his first girlfriend. At the time it was cute, I just kinda agreed to it because I didn't know what else to say... but obviously that didn't last long LOL. During my early teen years I started falling for him, but turns out he was gay. He came out to me when we were about 16.

We ended up losing touch for various reasons, and I got over him, although I missed having him as a friend and still do. A while ago I found his Twitter page and I check it out every now and then, but never contacted him (is that weird? Idk...), and today he posted that he is now happily engaged to his long time partner. I am very happy for him. Of course I had a flashback of those feelings I once had for him, and I miss him, but I really am thrilled for him.

I have thought about trying to get back in touch, but there are some things that are holding me back, and idk if he even wants to talk to me. It's kind of a weird situation honestly, but yeah... just an interesting thing that I wanted to share.

**stressed** · 10-06-2010 07:56 PM

That was sweet. But I agree, better not contact him.

Besides, contacting him will make all this magic of your little 'relationship' disappear

**kristalyn_04** · 10-06-2010 11:41 PM

Originally Posted by stressed

That was sweet. But I agree, better not contact him.

Besides, contacting him will make all this magic of your little 'relationship' disappear

Heh... what relationship? I'm not in a relationship, I'm just getting laid LOL

It would be nice to get in touch with him again. Like I said, I have been over him for a long time now, I just miss him as a friend. I'm just hesitating for various reasons (it's been about 10 years since I've talked to him), but for now I'm just gonna leave it alone.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 10-07-2010 12:04 AM

Ahh you know we meet people, for a reason in this life, they don't always stay in it, and sometimes we be "bold" and simply say hi, and the friendship is picked up where it was left of.

Your getting laid, he's engaged, you say "friend", so don't be a chicken

**Lunar Keiki** · 10-07-2010 12:33 AM

If it were me, I'd probably drop him a line, request to be his friend on Facebook, or something to that affect. Because he is engaged, and you are in a "relationship," it is safe, kwim? I think it is harmless and why can't you be friends again? Of course, we don't know the little things that are holding you back, but overall, that would be my thoughts.

**SidneyAlive** · 10-07-2010 06:09 AM

Oooo i found out the first boy I had sex with got married, I was enraged at first, I still thought of him as mine, but it dawned on me that, that was 7 years ago, i did drop him a line and wished him well, time heals all wounds...

**stressed** · 10-07-2010 08:40 AM

Originally Posted by kristalyn04

Heh... what relationship? I'm not in a relationship, I'm just getting laid LOL

It would be nice to get in touch with him again. Like I said, I have been over him for a long time now, I just miss him as a friend. I'm just hesitating for various reasons (it's been about 10 years since I've talked to him), but for now I'm just gonna leave it alone.

Oh I mean what you guys had between 9-16 years old. The friendship/crush sort of relationship. You have good memories with him, but I don't know, people do change.

I had a very good friend around that age too, we kind of liked each other but were both too shy to suggest a bf/gf relationship. I always remembered him like this wonderful, cute and caring boy. Years later I found him on FB and sent him a message. Well, it turns out that even though he's still a nice guy, he's covered in tattoos and is involved in all sorts of activities I wouldn't approve of had I been his g/f. So, even though it was nice to see how he's doing in his life, as a friend, this image I had of him of the cute, caring boy, vanished. In a way I'd rather remember him the way he was back then.

**kristalyn_04** · 10-07-2010 05:14 PM

Ok well, I wasn't gonna get into this, but here's the thing... during the time I was friends with him, my life was so messed up (due to my parent's mistakes, but that's another story). He was one of the few people in my life that accepted me, and actually wanted to be my friend. I fell for him, and I'm not sure but he may have picked up on that, and maybe it made him uncomfortable. I would call him and talk to him all the time, because I didn't have many others I could talk to, particularly after my Dad passed away... he was there for me. We ended up losing touch, partly because I felt guilty about venting to him all the time and I got the feeling that it made him uncomfortable. So I stopped calling him... the months turned into years, and my life has dramatically changed since then, but he doesn't know that and I have no idea if he would want to talk to me again. I certainly wouldn't blame him if he didn't. I am over him, I have been for a long time, but the situation may still be awkward, even after all these years. So, that is why I am hesitating about contacting him. I just think it's best if I don't right now, especially after he just got engaged. For now, I'm going to sit in silence and just be happy for him.

**Lunar Keiki** · 10-07-2010 05:46 PM

Only you know what is best for you and why. It's just that you haven't given much in the way of why he may not want to talk to you again. Everyone's lives change, especially going form being a kid to an adult. Sounds like he was your friend through the worst period of your life. And how much more dramatic of a change could one have than going from a childhood crush to being gay? That is pretty dramatic. Not unless you had a sex change or something equally life altering. Did you hurt him or just kinda stop calling? We all lose touch with people. If you are worried that he thinks you used him then ignored him, I am sure that is all water under the bridge. The fact that you are posting about it seems to me like you do want to get in contact with him again.

**kristalyn_04** · 10-07-2010 08:31 PM

Of course I want to... I just don't know if it's a good idea, especially now because I certainly wouldn't want to intrude on this special moment in his life. And, regardless of when I contact him, it could just be really awkward. I miss that childhood friend that I had... he's probably not that person anymore but I'm sure he's grown into a great guy. I have changed quite a lot myself, as I said, but still I hesitate to ever get back in touch with him. Maybe someday, but right now, I'm not going to. I posted about it because it's an interesting thing I wanted to share, and I had some flashback of emotions about it, but overall I am very happy for him and I am going to leave him alone to enjoy this. I'm sure the last thing he wants right now is a friend from the past with emotional baggage coming along creating awkwardness and stirring up emotions. So that's it, for now.