I think my boyfriend might be gay, but I can't confront him.

**macsessed** · 10-10-2010 10:17 AM

So, I've been on and off with this guy for more than a year.. everytime we're "off" he HAS to leech onto another girl, talk to maybe 10 girls in order to not be alone, and resort to his ex girlfriends. He has had sex with some of them, and me, (+1 for being straight). We had a huge argument and I finally squeezed out of him that the reason he feels he needs to talk to so many girls is because people in high school used to tease him and say that he was gay! (point 1 is moot).
We enjoy watching HGTV together, but I think he likes it because he can think about the rest of our life together. (gross.. I know..) speaking of, he smothers me with demands of the future and lovey-dovey stuff that is unnatural to me.. "i love you more than anything in the whole world, and I cant wait to hold your hands and look into your eyes and tell you that i love you and start our life together" (yes.. at this point I want to hurl) SO.. my main reasoning for why I think he may be gay is that when he send me pictures.. he is ALWAYS in girly poses. Like sticking his butt out, and lifting up his shirt with no abs... (weird.. what are you trying to show me?) Once (i'm so naughty) I sent him a strip tease ... and I get a video back of him doing the same exact thing.... all my girly movements. The pictures in girly poses keep coming. He never takes the man control, I'm very in control and he follows me around like a puppy. Am I his cover up? Is he trying really hard to solidify a future with me so he feels like he will never come out? Hes a huge car and sport fanatic, but still... my gaydar won't shut up. He has a ton of guy best friends and he gets jealous when they ditch him or get a girlfriend. Help XP I know its a sensitive topic since hes had past trauma, and his family would never accept him being gay (rude.) but I can't keep wasting my time if I am not what he wants.

**lizzardb63** · 10-10-2010 10:30 AM

Personally you don't sound like you're really all that interested in him to begin with. If he is telling you how much he loves you and wants to start a future with you, then why do you think he isn't that into you??? Maybe he sends those pictures and that strip tease because he thinks that's what you like. Why do you think its gross and want to hurl about him being sweet and lovey dovey? Most women complain because their boyfriends AREN'T that way. Talk to him what you like and don't like, maybe he doesn't realize you don't like the poses he makes.

**Lunar Keiki** · 10-10-2010 03:12 PM

I have to agree with lizzard--it doesn't sound like you are very much into him. I know when I was with guys I wasn't that into, everything they did irritated me.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 10-10-2010 03:20 PM

i love you more than anything in the whole world, and I cant wait to hold your hands and look into your eyes and tell you that i love you and start our life together" (yes.. at this point I want to hurl)

but I can't keep wasting my time if I am not what he wants.

Not what he wants, or not what you want?

Re-read what you have written, in short, you've put this guy down, gross, rude, silly, yuck, to his attitude and to his persona... So, my bet is, it's not relevant whether he is or he isn't, point is, your not attracted to his makeup full stop, so why do you want to spend the rest of your life with him, when you don't like that he states that to start with?

Men can have a feminine side to them, it's actually a good quality and it does not mean that they are gay... It means they are in tune with females, as well so not so mucho..

Imagine spending your life with a man, who can communicate, who can see when something is wrong, who can see when your sick, who is there for you, can talk through things, hold you when your down, all because he can tap into the feminine side of his nature and understand therefore, females...

A mucho man, can also let you down, be into himself, his needs, never yours...

Don't view "type" rather, compatibility for what you are after personally in life.

**Hopeless Dork** · 10-10-2010 08:02 PM

Nothing you said about him makes sound homosexual. Homosexual would mean he wants to have sex with men, is sexually attracted to men... um, in all of your list there.... there is nothing about him having an interest in having sex with men. To me it sounds like you just don't like the guy, gay or straight. Calling his thinking about a future with you "Gross" wanting to throw up over him saying he wants to spend his life with you and holding your hand? That doesn't make a guy gay, neither does hooking up with girls while you guys are broken up, watching home improvement channels doesn't make you gay.. I just don't follow your thought process there.

**stressed** · 10-10-2010 10:30 PM

Doesn't sound gay to me. Playful, cute, loving, daring, but not gay.

He doesn't seem to be your type, though, so you should reconsider this relationship. He may think he's all you want but it doesn't look like you're into him.

**lonestar** · 10-11-2010 10:14 AM

I'll have to throw this out there- sometimes gay guys use women as a cover up because they are emabarassed. It comes out all the time once they've been married and done the whole shebang... I would make sure this is not the case before you tie the knot or committ to anything in the future with him. It ends up ruining the woman.
That being said- the whole taking his shirt off to show you his non-existant abs and the reciprocated strip tease, could that be him just being silly??

**lonestar** · 10-11-2010 10:22 AM

and for some reason this stupid thing won't let me edit-
I wanted to add:
As far as you being the dominating one, some guys really like that in a woman. If you want a guy that will pick you up and throw you against the wall and make sweet sweet love to you... then maybe this guy is not for you. But, to give him the benefit of the doubt, maybe try talking to him? Tell him that's what you like.