Our first fight

**chaya** · 10-14-2010 10:38 PM

Me and my fiance had our first little fight today. It was all my fault for being so sensitive. I had stayed after school to attend my first Japanese Student Association meeting. They had Japanese tea and Dorayaki (a confection filled with sweet bean paste). The meeting lasted until after 5 PM, that is the latest I had ever stayed at school. On the way home, the traffic was the worst I've ever seen in my life. It took me over and hour and a half to get home. About 30 minutes from home I had to pee so bad I could hardly hold it. I'm diabetic and this can come on rapidly especially when my blood sugar is high from eating sweets. I made it home and was running to the bathroom when I lost it and left a trail from the garage door to the bathroom. To make matters worse, unbeknownst to me, my fiance had came home while I was in the bathroom. When I opened the door with my dirty clothes in my hand and nothing on below the waist, he took in the whole scene and started to laugh. That made me so mad I ran upstairs and locked myself in the other bathroom.

I stayed in there for almost an hour, took a shower and gradually cooled off and begin to feel stupid for acting like I did. When I came out with only a towel wrapped around me he was apologizing over and over again for laughing at me. We kissed and made up and everything turned out fine in the end; real fine.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 10-15-2010 06:39 AM

THAT wasn't a fight?! haha. Come on now.

On a more serious note, sorry that happened to ya...I know you feel very embarassed when something like that happens. But keep in mind that he knows your issue with diabetes, and he loves you the way you are......so if he's able to laugh with you about it, then it just makes him all the more endearing.

**Olympia** · 10-15-2010 07:00 AM

chisaki,

That was just one of those moments...
Pardon, but it did make me smile. You are amongst friends! I have had that happen as well..
I believe it may have been embarrassment you felt, and then him laughing triggered the anger. But i do not see fight in your statement. IMO, it was a laugh of endearment from your betrothed, not Mockery...

**pretzel** · 10-15-2010 07:22 AM

Absolutely agree with Olympia.

Trust me, you'll know when you two have a real disagreement.

**Tiptopshape** · 10-15-2010 08:08 AM

Aww, you're too cute to have considered that as an argument. You were just feeling stressed out that day and I understand your reaction, your fiance did too as he apologized for his reaction...The important thing is, everything ended up well and okay.

**caterpillar79** · 10-15-2010 09:36 AM

It's a laugh tainted with endearment, he might even thought it's cute. Believe me, this happened to me so many times (without trickling thought, but almost) when he and I were still on LD marriage, that I had to drive on alternate weekends. I kept driving and not stop for RR, so when I get home, I had to rush, run to the bathroom. I just hand him my car keys for him to unload or park my car properly. He laughs a lot about it and teases, which is a little embarrassing, but then at the same time lets me know he loves me - he is "pulling my pigtails".

Your man is a good catch. You are so lucky and blessed! BTW, have you tried bittermelon leaves? They help with diabetes.

**chaya** · 10-15-2010 12:47 PM

I know I over reacted, I was feeling sore and embarrassed so I panicked. He's still is teasing me about it. He drove me to school this morning and before we left, he told me to go to the bathroom before we left, then chuckled.

I had one class I couldn't skip this morning but I'm skipping the rest. We are getting ready to leave for his mother's house. He said she wants us to get married there, in a church. I'm against it because I was raised a Buddhist but might not have any choice.

**caterpillar79** · 10-15-2010 12:58 PM

Originally Posted by chisaki

I know I over reacted, I was feeling sore and embarrassed so I panicked. He's still is teasing me about it. He drove me to school this morning and before we left, he told me to go to the bathroom before we left, then chuckled.

Hmmm...he's becoming a meanie, I'd say. It's cute, but I could understand why you feel that way. Maybe he is teasing you of the way you are reacting, but then again, it could also be a cultural thing. My husband told me that it is normal in most Americans to make fun about bodily fluids/functions to some degree (I'm also Asian, married to an American), but for us, it so embarrassing! I understand how you feel. At any rate, if you still feel uncomfortable about it, you should tell him how you feel.

Originally Posted by chisaki

He said she wants us to get married there, in a church. I'm against it because I was raised a Buddhist but might not have any choice.

Have you considered how it would be raising your kids with different religious views? How confusing it would be for the kids? Have you two discussed about that? Have you told him about your disagreement on your wedding venue? If so, what did he tell you? If not, go ahead and tell him how you feel. Do not bottle up your feelings. In a loving relationship, you should meet half-way.

**chaya** · 10-19-2010 02:07 AM

We'll be getting married the Saturday after Thanksgiving by the police department Chaplin. We decided to do this after a disagreement with my fiance's mother last weekend. She wanted us to have a church wedding with all her friends there. I'm a Buddhist and didn't think that was a good idea. We will be going to Hawaii in January to visit my family. That way I won't miss any school.

Me and BF have talked about children, we don't think our faith would be a problem. I might not be able to have children, even with IVF, because I'm diabetic. The fertility centers will not guarantee success with type 1 diabetics. If I can't have "our" baby, neither of us want to adopt.