Uh Oh... Love Triangle

**SomiticPit** · 11-07-2010 12:32 PM

Okay, so I am involved right now with three different guys. How I have managed this one, I have no idea.

The good thing here is that none of them know each other, although they do know ABOUT one another. The problem is, I don't know who I want to be with. If I could have it my way, I'd be with all three! That's bad, isn't it?

First off, there's Eric. I work with him, and for the last two months, I have been seeing him the most. We have sex and spend a lot of time together, but I know I am not feeling him emotionally. When I see him, I look at his face, his body, his looks. He has a good personality, but it's not my magnet. He kind of has this "thuggish" type of output, and I've never really been big on that. Nothing wrong with it seeing as how he's not into gangs and stuff like that, but just not my type.

Then, there's Bobby. He's my most recent ex-boyfriend, and we've been broke up for about a year and six months. We still see each other occasionally (about once or twice a month) and still have sex. I love Bobby so much. His personality IS my magnet. He's funny, creative, outgoing, sensitive, honest. Just here recently I texted him letting him know that if he or I were to find a partner, that it would make me incredibly sad because I'm not ready to give him up yet. I don't ever want Bobby out of my life. We have our connection and just because I'm with someone doesn't mean I feel like letting go of what Bobby and I have. Bobby thinks we are good for each other, and loves and cares about me just as much. We are open enough to tell each other this. He's always watching out for me and always wants me protected, and I like that. He told me just the other day that he couldn't quit thinking about me, and that he misses me so much. He wishes we were on the same page, and is afraid that I can't commit to just him. But I know if he gave me that chance, I could.

And then, there's Chris, who is also another ex of mine. I have known him the longest, for about five years now. I met him when I was seventeen, and we dated for almost a year. For the last year and a half, Chris has been in prison, and I have been the only friend who has really stayed by his side throughout the whole ordeal. I used to go visit him three days a week, spend money on our phone calls, put money on his books, write letters to him back and forth. Now he is out, and I know he is going to be a big part of my life. We spent the night together last night, and I really don't know what is going to happen at this point. I know I don't want to be with him, but again, I don't want the attachment we have to be gone.

My main problem lies with Bobby and Chris, I feel incredibly close to both of them. Eric, I'm just afraid to hurt.

What do I do?

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 11-07-2010 01:02 PM

Your free to date and sleep with who ever you want as long as no one gets hurt..

It doesn't sound like any of the three are what you are looking for in a man, for a committed relationship...

If you don't want to hurt Eric, then don't go there, remain the friend you have been whilst he's been in prison and let him down softly, that the sparks have gone, you want to move on with your life...

But having said all of that, finding someone to be with, that you do like, that you are happy with solves all the problems, whilst they all purely become friends only....

CW

**Casey715** · 11-09-2010 08:54 AM

Sounds to me like you really want to be with Bobby. Why did the two of you ever break it off. O, because you can't commit to just him. You say; "He wishes we were on the same page, and is afraid that I can't commit to just him. But I know if he gave me that chance, I could." He most likely did give you that chance, and you made a choice and didn't prove otherwise. "If I could have it my way, I'd be with all three! That's bad, isn't it?" That statement right there is what Bobby fears you really feel. Is it bad? No. It just seems your not ready to settle down and be a one man kinda girl yet. No biggie. There's plenty of time for that later in life.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 11-09-2010 09:25 AM

You have to know going into a relationahip with multiple partners, that someone is going to get hurt, inevitably.

No matter how many people you're dating, hanging on to someone you're not really in to isn't right. You wouldn't want someone doing that to you, right? So Eric needs to be let go so that he can move on with his life.

Chris, well you said you KNOW you don't want to be with him. You care about him, but you don't want to be with him. So why hang on to him?

Are you afraid if you pick one you'll make the wrong choice, then you'll lose all of them and have no one, and be *gasp*...SINGLE????

**SomiticPit** · 11-15-2010 05:41 PM

Update on this situation. I let go of Bobby and Chris, and stayed with Eric. Turns out, me and Eric are doing great so far, and I'm starting to really care about him like crazy. I knew Bobby wasn't going to commit to me anymore than I could commit to him, and with Chris, I knew that he wasn't on his feet and needed time to concentrate on himself since he is fresh out of prison and like I said, I knew I didn't want to be with him. But with Eric, things are a bit different. Eric is really genuine, and after telling him that I hooked up with Chris, he was really hurt about it. I knew he wanted to be in a relationship with me, but I was stringing him along and not giving into that because for some reason I was scared of it? I don't know, but after I realized how much he really did want to be with me and how much he cared, I decided to give him that chance, and it turns out it's the best choice I could've made.