My mother in law

**Carmen1978** · 11-13-2010 08:04 AM

I have been married to my husband now for almost 9 years. I still dont feel comfortable when we visit his family. Last week when we were in my mother in law's house, she had pictures of everyone in the family upon her fridge. She had pictures of my husband, and our children but there was not a single decent picture of me or of me and my husband on the fridge. There is however a picture of me and my husband upstairs on a desk.... but in that particular picture, my head was down, and I was eating so you couldn't really see my face, and my husband was standing about a foot away from me.
I remember feeling left out, and very sad that I wasn't included. has anyone outthere ever felt this way? Has this ever happen to anyone? Im I exagerating? Im tired of feeling so sad about it... Please help!

My husband doesn't want to bring this up to his mom because he feels that it will cause problems in the family. He feels his mom is just putting her favorite pictures up, and that I need to respect the way she has her pictures up in her home. He also feels that I should choose my battles. He feels that there are bigger problems in the world for me to be feeling sad about his mom not having a picture of me on her fridge. He has also told me that maybe we should sneak one up there on her fridge sometime.... which made me laugh.

**Little.Chuck** · 11-13-2010 08:15 AM

I think you may be taking this to heart. It doesn't seem to me like she has done this on purpose. I really do think you should just top thinking about it as you may be distorting the truth in your mind. Your only winding yourself up over nothing imo.

**Carmen1978** · 11-13-2010 08:24 AM

Yeah! I think you are right.... but why do I feel so sad about it? Why doesn't she put a picture of me on the fridge also?

**Little.Chuck** · 11-13-2010 08:47 AM

Maybe your just a sensitive person. Do you get on well with your mother in law? If so it is likely unintentional.

**BabyGirl** · 11-13-2010 09:06 AM

Heres a Simple Solution Carmen..

Christmas is just around the Corner. Go have yours and Hubby's photo taken, just the 2 of you, smiling and looking happy. Or find one in your collection where you both look good together.. Scan that photo to your Computer.

Google a site that makes Refridgerator Magnets.

Chose one not too big or too small, Maybe a 3X5 (normal photo size) with a nice " Frame " and Download your photo to the site, order it and.... There you have a Personal Gift from the Both of you !!

When she opens it , hopefully she will go put it on the fridge right away,if not, have your hubby or Kids go put it up.
** You can also give her one of just your Children,along with you & Hubby's. This way it will be hard to deny the kids putting up both photo magnets.

Next time you visit, look and see if the photo's are still there, Both of them.. If yours isn't you can always tell her you can get her a replacement.. Her reply will tell you where you stand.
Good Luck.

**jns** · 11-13-2010 10:14 AM

Carmen, I think you are right about being left out, but maybe it is because she doesn't have a good picture with you and your husband together. BabyGirl has given you a clever way to get one up there. If she really is trying to dis you, it will become obvious afterward from her actions. Have the kids set to joyously ask to put the new pictures up just after the package is opened.

**BabyGirl** · 11-13-2010 02:54 PM

JNS .. I'm glad you also see there are ways to answer her worries.
In some cases, there are no need for words, especially ones that could be miscronstrued.. In this case I believe, Actions will speak louder than words. and I am hoping it solves the wondering for Carmen..

And it is possible, she just doesn't have any "good " photos.. If you guys take pic's during Family get togethers. Always try to keep your head up and smile, or be with your hubby & kids when camera's are about.
A picture is worth a thousand words , they say.. So make yours say how happy you are with your family and life.