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Thread: was this harsh or insulting?

  1. #1
    Junior Member Array classy_lady's Avatar
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    Default was this harsh or insulting?

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    Hi,

    I met this guy online a few days ago. We took turns asking questions by e-mail, then he pointed me to a profile he had on a different website to "tell me more about him". I read it and here was my response. He then got all angry at me. My intention was not at all to hurt him, but to be honest so he knows where I was at with my life and what to expect. I would like your opinion on what I said.

    "Read your profile, in detail. I agree with the things you said and do understand your frustrations with people on these sites. The same goes for me. [name of the website where we met] did a very good job as far as personality is concerned. But when it comes to social and cultural not sure where things can go. I recently moved here and am still settling down, not to mention building a social network. And when you have standards (I know what I want and also what I don't & quality over quantity [same mentality as him]), things take more time. Also, I'm concerned about you being "impatient [he had mentioned this on his profile and said it would NEVER change]"; I like to take the time to get know someone before getting close to them. Not sure if you can deal with that, and frankly, I like to stick to my principles. Let me know what you think, if I got the wrong impression and do ask any questions you might have :-)"

    Was this unintentionally harsh? He is a pretty direct person. Also, he was French Canadian and I'm middle eastern. In case you wonder why I said anything about culture, it's b/c he asked me about my roots, then he became more quiet once I answered him.

    Thanks :-)

  2. #2
    WH MODERATOR Array Beautiful Disaster's Avatar
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    I don't think it was insulting. I think it was direct and honest. Better to be direct and honest than to waste someones time letting them think you're something you're not, right?

    If he got angry over that.........I'd take that as a good sign this isn't the right fella for you.

    At the same time, if I were genuinely interested in meeting someone, I'd try to be careful I wasn't focusing only on the things about them I wasn't sure about. I'd try to also point out the things about them I really like.

    "Be what you're looking for."

    "The next time you're thinking of kicking someone when they're down, offer them your hand and help them back up instead."



  3. #3
    Junior Member Array classy_lady's Avatar
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    Thanks for your input. I had no doubts he was not for me. But got surprised by the explosive reaction I got when I tried to let him down easy. He said I accused and challenged him???

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    This guy is an idiot. Move on.

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    WH Super Moderator Array caterpillar79's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by classy_lady View Post
    Thanks for your input. I had no doubts he was not for me. But got surprised by the explosive reaction I got when I tried to let him down easy. He said I accused and challenged him???
    He's not truly ready to meet nor BE WITH a woman like you - confident, assertive and knows what she wants.....Move on... "next"....
    What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are but how you deal with incompatibility. - Leo Tolstoy

    The clearest explanation for failure of any marriage is that two people are incompatible; that is, one is male and the other female. - Anna Quindlen

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    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array Lunar Keiki's Avatar
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    Wow! If he got angry and explosive over that--an email message that wasn't even insulting--imagine what it would be like IRL????? He may fly off the handle if you don't like his favorite restaurant or disagree on his sports team. He sounds so insecure and controlling. Run the other way!

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