what to say to ease their minds

**whit4488** · 12-04-2010 09:16 AM

My fiances last marriage was terrible, all his family and friends hated his wife and had awful things to say about her. When i came into the picture everyone had great things to say about me, and i got the "you better be good to him"...how do i respond to that? How do i ease their minds that im not like her, not after his money...and i love him for who he is unconditionally. I guess im just looking for the right words, help!

**WildChild** · 12-04-2010 09:56 AM

Well you could treat is as a joke and come up with some snappy come backs. Anything from, "Really? I was planning to be simply awful to him! Make his life ! Can't you see how miserable he is already?"

Or you could give them a look, lick your lips slowly and say. "I have plans for him. I've got a blindfold and a some rope..."

What do they think you are going to say? For crying out loud. Is that a threat? A warning? They think he is too stupid and is going to hook up with another user? If he is, what good they think those kinds of remarks will do? I find that kind of stuff really annoying.

**whit4488** · 12-04-2010 10:08 AM

lol, your too funny! well i guess they see that im different but i guess they feel its necessary to say it, because he was treated sooo badly by her. mentally, verbally and emotionally abusive towards him and he has the most gentle loving heart. hes a much stronger person now for walking away from the marriage and we have a WONDERFUL relationship together, and i know his family can see that, but i just want to confirm i am with him for the RIGHT reasons but i just dont know how to say that without coming off so cliche

**JustHormonious** · 12-04-2010 11:15 AM

I'm guilty, I said the exact same thing to my youngest sons girlfriend just last month (I've also called her by the wrong name). She stopped by to show me the birthday gifts he had given her and I said "WOW, you better be good to him". There were no bad intentions behind the statement on my part. She giggled and said "don't worry I have plans for him tonight". This girl is determined to marry him and does not hide the fact. He is my baby and if he's giving expensive gifts his heart is in it.

It's funny, I am very protective over my son's but if I cross the line, they have no problem telling me...

**whit4488** · 12-04-2010 12:37 PM

of course i can understand the concern! and to be honest im sure my family has said it to my fiance regarding me, because i have too been in a horrible relationship, however, he is a little more "Deep" then I, he was VERY sure to tell my family and friends how he really felt about me and all his intentions!