Update :)

**Agony_Aunt** · 12-04-2010 05:09 PM

Okay, well the party was last night.. And yes my ex was there!

Going to try and make a long story short here.

I don't know if it's because I thought my ex was going to be there.. But I wore a little black dress and my new shoes I had treated myself to during the week, and went to the party!
I had met with the girl sand we headed there, I walked in and saw all the guys, said hello to the one's I hadn't seen in a weeks and all was going good. Then I saw him, I just said hello and carried on. Keeping calm and cool and trying my best not to show that I was nervous and slightly panicked!
Anyway, later on in the night, I had went out for a smoke with one of the girls and him and another one of the guys were already out there. We stood together and talked, I didn't make any direct conversation to him but just joined in the conversation.
My friend then said to the guy who was out with my ex, "Oh could I talk to you in private for a sec", and they walked away, which of course left us to standing together.

He said I looked great and etc.. Then after the small talk was done, he said he was sorry for the way thing had ended and he hoped I'd be there tonight. He was going to call me to ask to meet up and talk, but the girls had told him how I seemed to have my mind made up that I was getting over him and there was no chance it could work. We talked for ages, and I told him about how I felt like I was wanting the relationship more, and willing to take the risks for it and so on.
He told me he was scared of the heartbreak he'd be going through if he lost me to someone younger and it seemed best for him to just end it and avoid that situation altogether. But then he told me because of the way he's felt in the past weeks since we finished made him realise, he'd rather have loved and lost, than not loved at all. We hugged and he told me he really missed me and I told him the same.
But I told him it wasn't the right time or place to be talking about it and that we would talk properly about it and meet up during the week.

**Seeker_Advice** · 12-04-2010 05:26 PM

A) Congratulations on going! Good for you!

B) A little black dress is always nice especially when paires with new shoes!

C) Good for you, good for you, good for you!!

**Agony_Aunt** · 12-04-2010 05:47 PM

Thanks SA. I'm kind of glad I went.

**jns** · 12-04-2010 06:00 PM

AA, from your other posts I thought you were over your ex, but obviously not. Others noted that your friends were trying to get you two to talk and they were right. Hopefully you two will figure things out so as to not have the same problems. Best of luck on a new beginning.

**Agony_Aunt** · 12-04-2010 06:18 PM

I don't think it was a "set up". I feel that my friends just hoped I would talk to him at the party since he had been asking them about me.
I'm not over him although I was trying to move on because I thought that was what he wanted.
If there is to be a new beginning, there is a lot to be talked out between us both and a lot of consideration. I feel I need to hear what he has to say because of how it ended so suddenly with us without warning. I need to fully how he's feeling and how he was feeling at the time too. So I can weigh up both sides, and really consider if it's worth trying with again.
Thanks Jns

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 12-05-2010 01:10 AM

Do you think that your friend saying "oh can I talk to you for a minute" to the other guy wasn't a set up ?

I think that we mean't that the get together wasn't a set up but that they then decided to invite both of you and hoped you both would turn up and work it out, after all that's what friends are for....

I think it's great, it seems that what we thought was the reason why he left, he's confirmed it...

I knew he would go, why wouldn't he if he really didn't want to leave?

I am really proud though that you didn't go home with him that you said now is not the time to talk, you've left him wanting you more and you wanting him more....

WATCH if that's not the case

After all your friends advised him you were ready to move on... I think you two should forget age and just go for it, and relax in your relationship, really be yourselves so you can enjoy it...

**Colorado** · 12-05-2010 01:47 AM

Exactly CW!

AA, I'm happy to hear all went well. Sounds like you had a good time and perhaps started a new beggining.
All the best!

**Agony_Aunt** · 12-05-2010 06:36 AM

Thank you CW and Colorado

Yes my friends had told him I was ready to move on, because thats what I told them, they wern't gonna lie to him and tell him I was sitting at home crying my eyes out everyday wanting him back.
I didn't go home with him because, I didn't want him to think he could just turn up at the party and tell me he still loves me and misses me, because when he finished it so suddenly a few weeks ago, he hurt me. I have to make him realise that his doubts are hurting me as well as him and that, if there is to be a new beginning, things really need to change.
I need him to relax in the relationship too.
Don't know yet when we are to meet to talk, but it should be sometime this week. I'm looking forward to it