Thread: The dreaded ex! Help please :)

Lucky,

If you truly Loved him, it will take a long time to get over him and on with your life.

I was in an inappropiate relationship that ended in May of this year, it was a 1 year relationship, with all but the Sex. My heart & Soul was poured into this relationship and of course I had thought it was recipicated to the best of his ability, even though Married..

It is now 7 months since we broke up. He moved to another State with his wife, I hear nothing from him, but sometimes things about him from friends. I had so much support from the people of this forum that they did help me get thru these 7 months.

I had saved over 300 of his romantic/ I love you texts on my cell and had planned to delete one a day until I had none of them left. I did ok for a couple of weeks, just deleting the " Sexual Wants / Fantasy" ones from him.. ( He could never Get it up is why there was no True Sex ).

Here 7 months later, I still have about 200 of the I Love you's, Why didn't I meet you sooners, Goodnight BabyGirls,

* Sigh* and Cringes because I know that CW is gonna Kick my Butt .. Lol.

I'm not sure when I will be able to let go of it all ? I do Not Text him or Email him at all ( Haven't since May)... But I think of him alot. Certain Sounds or songs or glimpses of a Truck like his, Wham goes my mind to " John".

The point here is Refraining or changing your thoughts from, The I had's, to the I know I can't have"s but the Fond Nostalgia type thoughts. You can Miss Him and the things you shared..

But it is rare that you get back what you have Lost. Just Grow from it, Learn from it and Walk softly with your heart next time around.

Me.. I'm still running out of what I call Lifes Printer Ink.. The Ink is fading slowly everytime I allow" Us " to be Printed in my Memory,
I'm not ready to refill or replace the Cartridge, But someday I will have to as I will only have a Blank page that must have something on it.

I hope you can & will do better than I on this , It's hard to just Hit " DELETE" when You Love, if you Loved or you were Loved..

You are in the Roght Place for Help with your Problem ..

Luckyme, I feel for you. I am in a similar position, but I was the one who wanted to end it. Well, not wanted to, had to. I just couldn't continue in a relationship with him while he was with someone else. I met him with her and we saw each other on and off for 18 months. I tried over and over to end it, but just couldn't say no when he came back. I'm in no way over this, I can't stop thinking about him, missing him, I am very much in love with him, but I just don't want to be with him under the circumstances.

So staying away from someone you love who doesn't want to be with you, or whom you know you shouldn't be with, is painful. It's difficult. At the same time, it leaves you very vulnerable to that person wanting to show up when it's convenient for him. He knows you love him, he knows you miss him, and he knows you're only a bend away from breaking whenever he wants to come back. Just be careful, is all I can say.

I think you got to let him go hun. As much as it hurts, as much as you miss him... this one wasn't meant to be. At least you can have the comfort that you know where you stand with this man, you have to give him that. He was decent enough to tell you the truth and part as politely as possible where as some guys when they lose their feelings will drag you through the mud first, cheating, lying, treating you badly til you get fed up and leave THEM. But it sounds like he left you with as much dignity as one can during a break up... and it sounds like you are taking it like a champ. Hold your head up high, there is nothign wrong with you, there is nothing you could have done, should have done that would have provided different results... some people just aren't right for each other.

And you don't want to force your way back into his life, even if on a lonely moment he decides to ring you up... he's already made his feelings for you clear, and that he's done with the relationship. The good news is once your heart heals you will at least be single and open to finding the RIGHT guy, the one that feels like you do and will make you so very happy. Life is too short to spend it trying to prove to some guy that you are worthy of him, that he should see what he has in you.. there are other men out there that know you are more than they deserve, that will appreciate your attention and feelings for them and that will return them and make you feel loved.

Keep busy. Time is the only thing that numbs the raw nerves of feelings exposed during a break up... so try to get through the time in the most productive way possible. Start working on a goal you have set for yourself that you haven't had time to accomplish... take that class, join that gym, read that book you always said you'd read. Spend sometime with YOU... and realize that a new chapter of your life has started, so much excitement to come.