His ex girlfriend just moved in

**kayleigh4** · 12-15-2010 09:42 PM

I'm 14 years old, and i've been dating this guy for about a month now, just 2 days before we started dating his ex girlfriend was kicked out of their house, ( his mom didn't like her living there anymore ) and he was always saying how much he ' hated ' her and stuff then today i heard they were letting her back in the house n stuff and i seen a post on facebook saying ' hangin with chris for the night, having fun i love you christopher ' ... from his ex. I've heard from a really close friend ( chris' friend too ) that shes got an ' obsesssion' with him.. we are sexually active and that scares me too what if something happens between them and i don't findout about it and she ends up having something? i wanna be able to trust him and i feel so terrible that i can't, but knowing about their history and knowing that his ex girlfriend is living with him again its tough.. i feel bad because thats all i can think about now. Should i talk to him about it? or should i just try and forget about it? .. Please Help.

**brianna...** · 12-15-2010 10:21 PM

You are very young to even be having sex iit shouldnt even be on your mind to me your still a child. but i think you shouldjust worry about you and be kid you only live once and be smart about your decisions!! but yes talk to him about it and let him know that its making you doubt things and feel consious about you getting a std just be safe and smart!

**Hopeless Dork** · 12-15-2010 10:42 PM

Well I don't know if her living there is within his control or not, if his mom is the one that decided to allow her to stay there... he may not have a say so in the matter. What does he have to say about the things she says on her facebook? It could be that he's having his cake and eating it too. Telling her he wants to be with her, telling you the same thing ... and telling the both of you that each other is lying.

He sounds like he's in a mess of a situation and you have to ask yourself if you're willing to put up with all that. I'm sure your heart has strong feelings for him. Everything is probably so emotional for you right now and the fact that you had sex with him is probably making you feel like you are even more attached... but you don't have to be with someone that isn't making you his number 1 priority.

If I were you, I would go to a doctor and get checked as its possible he could be having sex with her and you don't want to contract something that could impact your future... I would advise against having sex all together but if you are going to be having it with him... birth control isn't the only thing you should be worried about, you should be protecting yourself against diseases as well.

I know you want to trust your boyfriend... and you feel like if you love him you should trust him. But you are young, you have your whole life ahead of you and the possibility that this guy will be the one you ultimately marry and be with forever and ever til you die is pretty slim... you want a good future, where you can live life to its fullest and you don't want to be burdoned with mistakes you made over some guy who clearly wasn't worth it.

You are worth so much more than you are giving yourself credit for.

**auntie_awesome** · 12-16-2010 08:25 AM

It sounds like a very unhealthy situation all around. You are 14, so you probably don't see it and probably won't listen to anyone saying it (I hope you will)....but unhealthy situations tend to grow to envelope all who are around. The person you are dating at 14 is likely NOT going to be the person you will marry today, nor will you likely stay with that person the rest of your life.

Have fun, date around, go to the movies, make out some....enjoy yourself and don't get involved with drama.

IF you are going to continue with this, talk to an adult to get on some type of birth control. If you are too embarrassed to go to your parents, a counselor or talk to your doctor about this....then you are not ready for having sex. Sex at any age means you take on a certain type of adult responsibility. This means you take care of your body and get your yearly exams, you manage your reproductive system and ensure you are protected from pregnancy, and you make wise decisions about who to sleep with so 10 years in the future you aren't dealing with something like Herpes.