He wouldn't stop during sex when it was hurting me

**SarahBear2010** · 12-17-2010 12:50 PM

I didn't really want to have sex because all I wanted to do was just hang out and relax with him. We were alone.

I knew it was a bad idea from the get go as he led me into his mom's room, my 1st thought was WTF and didn't say anything about it to avoid drama. No, he doesn't live with his mom.

He's same age as me. I lost my virginity to him and it was painful everytime. He'd cough up the pain as it's "all in my head" when I told him he was hurting me. We tried different positions and places and it would still hurt. The 1st couple times hurt really bad and he talked me into having sex with him.

The last time, I told him I was hurting and he'd tell me not to push him away when the deed was being done. I wasn't really enjoying it. It didn't hurt the whole time and yes, he wears a condom. I don't know why it hurts that much, he's not that big, his penis is probably 7in. when erect.

I was starting to think he didn't want to have sex with me anymore because it had been over a month. We're just friends, we don't everytime we are together.
The day after, the upper inner side of my thighs hurts from the action.

**Hopeless Dork** · 12-17-2010 12:57 PM

More important than the fact it was or wasn't hurting the whole time... or what is causing it to hurt is why are you having sex with him if you don't want to? It doesn't sound like your feelings really matter much to this guy... why are you with him?

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 12-17-2010 01:34 PM

I'm not sure if you decided okay, because he hadn't had sex with you for a month and you wanted to feel "wanted" but sweetheart, on his side, it's called using.. Using when it suits him, a bit of sex, and that's evident because he doesn't care if he's hurting you or not, he will keep going until he's finished..

I suspect that you haven't had anyone else either?

If his attitude is not to interupt him, even though he's hurting you, so he can gain "HIS" pleasure, then more than likely he is not taking care either to ensure you are ready for it, want it, and can handle it, by being lubricated either naturally or with lubrication to help you..

In any event, why are you letting him near you? Don't be used sweet. And don't be dis-respected, and tossed aside when he's just after a bit.. If he was a friend, he would have stopped... FULL STOP.

CW

**WildChild** · 12-17-2010 02:17 PM

If you aren't wanting sex, aren't aroused, aren't wet, really wet, it's very likely going to hurt. Especially with a condom. Of course with a condom your lack of lubrication won't bother him much.
CW is right, he is using you sexually.
I would echo HDs question, why are you with him?

**SarahBear2010** · 12-18-2010 03:29 AM

Originally Posted by CHANDLERS WISH

I'm not sure if you decided okay, because he hadn't had sex with you for a month and you wanted to feel "wanted" but sweetheart, on his side, it's called using.. Using when it suits him, a bit of sex, and that's evident because he doesn't care if he's hurting you or not, he will keep going until he's finished..

I suspect that you haven't had anyone else either?

If his attitude is not to interupt him, even though he's hurting you, so he can gain "HIS" pleasure, then more than likely he is not taking care either to ensure you are ready for it, want it, and can handle it, by being lubricated either naturally or with lubrication to help you..

In any event, why are you letting him near you? Don't be used sweet. And don't be dis-respected, and tossed aside when he's just after a bit.. If he was a friend, he would have stopped... FULL STOP.

CW

He calls wanting to see me and go along with what he says to avoid drama. Hes the one that always iniates the contact. I havent seen anyone else besides him.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 12-18-2010 04:12 AM

Then, you have feelings for him I think. But look at how he treats you, can't you see that, he calls when he wants a booty call? Then doesn't care that it hurts you? You can either believe your worth more and say "no more" to him next time he calls or continue down the path whereby when there is no one else, he'll call you.

You know when I was your age, I was in love with my first love and I kept letting him come back as well, but there were others and lots of them, do you know, it was easy for him so he kept coming little did i know it was over, i thought because he kept coming back it was me he loved, we can get confused...

See others, you don't have to sexually but please, see others and try "I am busy" your available, and so he will always take... think, he never asks you out, wants to go back with you, your living in hope, don't turn out to be 5 years older,because you held in hope...

CW

**evaone** · 12-27-2010 08:58 PM

it's normal to feel the pain specially if your still a virgin. maybe because he does'nt want you to get hurt again that's why he stop making sex with you but it does'nt mean that he's not in love with you anymore.

**FlowerFairy** · 12-27-2010 09:11 PM

That is incredibly selfish of him to tell you "not to push him away when the deed was being done". Obviously he couldn't care less about you being in pain; it'd interupt his pleasure!

Don't let him use you like that

**wingsfrommyspine** · 01-03-2011 12:20 PM

Oh no. Please don't subject yourself! I had a boyfriend who did the same thing to me, and it was absolutely dreadful. That was over three years ago for me, and I still feel sick to my stomach when I think about it. Sex was not painful for me, but he often made me have sex with him when I made it clear that I was not interested at the moment. He is obviously not thinking about your or your needs, which is incredibly selfish and can be psychologically damaging to you. Tell him again about it, and if he continues this behavior, he does not deserve to be with you!