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Almost a year really isn't long enough to get through the infatuation phase. Why not wait another year and then see how you feel?
Unsure what to do..
I've been dating a guy for almost a year now and we've been talking about how we both would love to have a baby. I already have 3 ages 11,10,and 8. I had my tubes tied when I had my 8 year old. I would love to have another though. But not sure if I want to spend that kind of money to have it reversed or to get in vertro..any suggestions?
~*AngelWithHornz*~
Almost a year really isn't long enough to get through the infatuation phase. Why not wait another year and then see how you feel?
We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer
Agree with WC. Do you 3 children all have the same father? If so, how long did you know him before you started having kids? Do you think you had kids with him too soon?
Give it some time. The relationship is too new to consider reversing the procedure and bringing another child into the world at this point.
"Be what you're looking for."
"The next time you're thinking of kicking someone when they're down, offer them your hand and help them back up instead."
Yes all three of my children have the same father and we were together for a year before we married and had our first child and were together 11 years after that..Originally Posted by Beautiful Disaster
I don't think bringing another child into this world is such a bad thing. -.-
~*AngelWithHornz*~
Having another child might not be a bad thing, in certain circumstances.
I would ask myself and discuss it with my SO.
1) Are we financially Secure enough for another child ? Babies cost money, Dr's Visits, Delivery costs, ( not to mention invitro or Tube reversal ).
2) Are the other 3 kids taken care of as far as their College Fund ? Meaning that you already have set aside Funds for all 3 to go to College or a Training school in order for them to have the best chance at a Good Career'
3) Is your SO willing to stick with you and your kids for another 19 plus years to raise this child from conception to adulthood and beyond. Is he willing and able to help support your other 3 kids, be there financially and emotionally?
These are just a few things to think about. It is all good to want another baby, but Mature Intelligent parents will weigh the costs of a child..
A Healthy child is costly enough, what if your child had a medical problem when born ? Are you prepared ?
Will your other childrens future suffer from costs of a medically needy Sibling ?
Personally, I would, if in your place, Put the future of my already here children above my urge for another baby. And to assuage my desire for a beautiful lil Angel Baby, I'd go volunteer at the nearest Children's Hospital or Neo Natal ward , spend a few hours holding & Cuddling the Sweet Babies.
Or even sign up for Foster Care and take in Babies that need a Safe place for awhile. The State will offset the costs so it won't impact negatively on your other kids future education funds.
Kinda Having the Best of Both Worlds.
Wow everyone is worried about you having 4 children to bring up
Having a baby with your new partner, together is something if you can, most people want...It brings that unity together...and that love for each other...
Questions you should ask is can you both cope with 4, how does he treat your children, will he treat his differently.... In-other-words, whilst it's an emotional decision, you have to factor in the children as well...
If your answer is he's a fantastic dad, they love him, we can financially afford it, we are in love, I can't see myself being with anyone else, nor him, he wouldn't up and leave me, I also crave this baby, then go for it....
The above was your question...If you can't afford it yet, why not save for a bit longer, I'd try the reversal first, IVF can cost a packet ...But not sure if I want to spend that kind of money to have it reversed or to get in vertro..any suggestions?
CW
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
My questions weren't in any way to judge you. I was just trying to get a bit more info to try to help you sort it all out in your mind.I don't think bringing another child into this world is such a bad thingI still hold on to the fact that a year is too soon to jump into bringing another child into the world. Bringing a child into the world is not a bad thing at all, it's a beautiful thing, but at what cost to your other children? And do you think your relationship is ready for that? HisBabyGirl posed some great questions to think about.
"Be what you're looking for."
"The next time you're thinking of kicking someone when they're down, offer them your hand and help them back up instead."
Reversing a tubal is a major decision, just like getting one was. I had mine at 22 without ever having children. I did this due to a family history of certain diseases that I didn't want to pass on.
A one year relationship, that isn't a marriage, is no reason to have major surgery and reverse a decision you had already made.
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