How do you choose a maid of honor?

**asiangrace** · 01-01-2011 07:17 PM

No, I am not engaged...yet. But it is in the cards for my boyfriend and I, hopefully, within the next six-eight months. I have been thinking about the "politics" of wedding planning. My parents have disowned me, so they're no longer involved in my life whatsoever. I already have another set of "parents" who have stepped in to my life and have touched my heart. He will be walking me down the aisle and she will be "mother-of-the-bride."So that is taken care of. They have loved and accepted me as their own "daughter."

However, how does one choose a maid of honor? Traditionally, it is a sister but my sister and I are not close whatsoever, so I do not see asking her as an option nor a desire of mine.

I have several very close female friends who I consider all of them best friends. There is no girl that I favor or feel closer than another. How do you choose? I know that my gal pals would understand anyone I pick, but I want them ALL to be honored. Can I make them all maids of honor or have no maids of honor?

Ha ha, I am not stressing out about this as much as I seem. I am just really curious as to how to go abut choosing a maid of honor when a sister is not an option.

**KMonte85** · 01-03-2011 08:44 AM

Never feel obligated to have anyone in your wedding party whom you do not want - and that INCLUDES FAMILY. So many women I am friends with have said they regretted having family in the wedding party out of obligation - just because someone is a relative doesn't mean they're truly happy for you like a true friend would be.

There's no hardfast "rule" that you MUST have a maid of honor in your wedding... these are just habits that stuck around from old royal traditions. The only reason they're still around is that it is nice to have one person sort of 'hold the reins' on the bride's side of the wedding party, and help the bride with organizing, planning, etc. Basically, your maid of honor become your right hand (wo)man with your wedding details.

So if you love all your friends equally, then don't have a "maid of honor" or heck, make them all your maids of honor! You can do whatever you want! Just make sure that if you're not going to have 1 person hold the title, that all the women in your party are asked for their help with what you would need, since there isn't one specific person who will hold down that title (and the responsibilities that go along with it).

**LanaBear** · 01-03-2011 11:59 AM

I agree with KM... You don't need to bestow one the title of Maid of Honor. They can all be Bridesmaids or all be Maids of Honor.

Traditional wedding planning is just out the door IMO. Do what suits you and your husband to be.