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Thread: a big age difference....

  1. #1
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    Question a big age difference....

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    one of my friends is going to be 17 this year... and right now she is dating a guy that just turned 30.

    She says that they both love each other very much... Is this consider normal?

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    Not in this day and age. They are in very different places in their lives.
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    no matter how mature she thinks she is- shel end up feeling she needs to grow up faster. its not healthy.

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    TEAM ADMIN Array CHANDLERS WISH's Avatar
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    Imagine the wealth of knowledge he's developed to her..

    Imagine her hanging out with her friends and wanting in a few years to experience night clubs...Imagine him wanting to stay at home, her too..

    I suspect she loves the attention, and needs it... I suspect he's like a Father image...

    It's up to her parents at this point to say yah or no....friends just unfortunately have to be a friend....

    At the end of the day, 27, 50....at some point it will break.....I suspect within 3 years max....

    CW
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    I am 23, my partner is 39. A 15 and a half year difference. I grew up fast, starting at age 12. never had the need to go out with friends and do the normal "growing up" business, any time I did go out with people my own age, I felt like I was constantly babysitting them. felt too mature to be doing the things they were doing, yet went along for the ride trying to fit in. in this case, the year span in between your friend and the man she is dating is a smaller gap, yet your friend is not yet an of-age adult, whereas I was 19 whenever I got with my partner. This is a situation that is acceptable on some terms, and yet illegal in others. If she didn't have any attention from adults growing up, I would assume she is trying to make up for it now, and that may be unhealthy for her.

  6. #6
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    17 and 30 is a big gap. Illegal in the US I think until she is 18. At that point, it is possible for it to work, but pretty unlikely.

    She might be unusually mature and really can relate to someone 13 years older. No way to know without knowing the person.

    It can also be fine if they are both in it just for short term fun. She can enjoy the attention of someone older, probably wealthier and more experienced. He can enjoy being with someone young again. As long as they are honest with themselves, I think this can be OK.

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