The lack of drive

**wanton** · 01-13-2011 02:45 AM

My boy friend is a handsome guy, tall with a muscular build. Girls run after him and yet he never responds to them. He is very intellectual too and is topper in his college. I am really proud to have company of him. When he comes closer to me I simply become thrilled and get driven by his touch alone. He is from a good family. But the problem with him is he lacks the drive. We have kissed each other but he had never kissed my lips. He has not touched any other secret parts of my body though I have no objections. It has been 6 months we are in love. I am desperate for his initiatives, his advances and I am ready to yield to his passes. It will just be an exhilarating experience to be touched by him. He likes my company so much. We do a combined study and his parents approve of my company with him. We are together in his room and sometimes in my parents' house for hours but nothing goes beyond kissing on our foreheads. The kissing too began on my initiatives.

I do not know how to proceed

**WildChild** · 01-13-2011 09:23 AM

Talk to him. In a neutral setting and find out what he is thinking.

**Gippy11** · 01-13-2011 10:53 AM

Originally Posted by wanton

My boy friend is a handsome guy, tall with a muscular build. Girls run after him and yet he never responds to them. He is very intellectual too and is topper in his college. I am really proud to have company of him. When he comes closer to me I simply become thrilled and get driven by his touch alone. He is from a good family. But the problem with him is he lacks the drive. We have kissed each other but he had never kissed my lips. He has not touched any other secret parts of my body though I have no objections. It has been 6 months we are in love. I am desperate for his initiatives, his advances and I am ready to yield to his passes. It will just be an exhilarating experience to be touched by him. He likes my company so much. We do a combined study and his parents approve of my company with him. We are together in his room and sometimes in my parents' house for hours but nothing goes beyond kissing on our foreheads. The kissing too began on my initiatives.

I do not know how to proceed

Wow, maybe he has made some sort of vow to his parents not to let women affect his schooling.

maybe he is very religious and that's what is holding him back.

Or maybe he is gay and you are just his beard.

**stressed** · 01-13-2011 11:57 AM

I see the words "parents" and "family" coming up way too often in your post.

My guesses (one of the possibilities below or a combination of them):

- Your family knows his family and this is some kind of arranged relationship by your families that will make "a good match".

- He's religious.

- He's gay.

- You are underage.

- He has never had a relationship.

We need more information to help you.

**wanton** · 01-14-2011 01:53 AM

I do not know whether he is gay. He is already 22 and is mature enough to gratify me. Once I have seen him watching a porn movie and I went to closer to him and gave a dash to his pretentiously and saw its colossal erectile as if it is popping out from his jeans that aroused me irresistibly. I do not like to fall for any other guys for sexual gratification though I have waited for too long for his passes. In our culture having multiple affairs is disrespectful and I do not want to earn a name as a troll. I love him and so does he. I just confine to masturbating when the arousals are untamable.

I suddenly came upon this wonderful forum whereon I can find wonderful and good hearted teams of women and professionals too whose ideas can help me come over this malicious problem. It has been so long and he is still not wild though he has seen my boobs but he does not initiate to fondle them.

I am in a pathetic situation. I need your help desperately

**stressed** · 01-14-2011 05:15 AM

Is it common for people to have physical relationships before marriage in your culture? Maybe he doesn't do it out of respect and will only do it after marriage. Maybe your families would not approve of such behavior and he's careful.

**Seeker_Advice** · 01-14-2011 05:48 AM

Have you told him how you feel? I don't believe that your situation is pathetic. I think your situation involves communication or lack of communication between two people.

Many many threads and posts in here talk about communication and the lack of it. So I think the two of you need to talk/communicate with each other about your feelings, your expectations, your desires, etc.

Anything can be worked out between partners as long as there is open communication between them.

**wanton** · 01-14-2011 07:00 AM

There is an ample of communication and we like our company and move together. He kisses on my forehead as kissing on the forehead is not a taboo in our culture but kissing on the lips is and no one does it in the open.

I just want him to kiss me on my lips with his callused hands holding me tightly an want him to fondle my boobs and I am just dreaming about it.

In our culture it is always men who have to take the initiative when it comes to acts of sex. I just like to play with his balls and this will be an exhilarating experiences. I love him so much I cannot live without him now and no days go unseeing each other.We are welcome each other's home and there is no objection from the parents either.

I do not know how to communicate and I cannot just say: make love to me and it will be too much incongruous or impolite to say such filthy words and he may think I just want his and nothing else and that is why I am in control of myself.

Should I keep on waiting for this infinitely when I am horny?

**wanton** · 01-14-2011 07:02 AM

In fact this is tabooed religiously and socially but people break all else. And of course modern girls cannot wait for it and want to gratify this urge

**PandaPaws** · 01-14-2011 05:54 PM

Like everyone else said, you need to TALK TO HIM about it. My opinion - either he feels really strongly about the rules of your culture - or thinks YOU do, or he's a closet gay.