Thread: What now?

Hi,

I posted a week or so ago about my boyfriend with low self esteem. We've been together about 7 months and I thought we were happy. Then last weekend he suddenly announced he didn't think he was a good b/f, not romantic and I deserved better. He still wants to be friends as he says he loves me, but he's not sure its romantically.

We've talked and I agreed to this, as I don't want to lose him. However, I'm confused, I'm not sure this will work. In the long run I'll get hurt when he meets someone else (although he says he wants to be on his on for a bit and I do believe him).

Supposed to be seeing him tomorrow to go to the cinema but I really don't know what to do for the best. Should I go and be cool and show him what he's missing or just tell him nicely to go away.

Thanks

It seems you are getting mixed Signals from him .

Then last weekend he suddenly announced he didn't think he was a good b/f, not romantic and I deserved better. He still wants to be friends as he says he loves me, but he's not sure its romantically.

We've talked and I agreed to this, as I don't want to lose him. However, I'm confused, I'm not sure this will work. In the long run I'll get hurt when he meets someone else (although he says he wants to be on his on for a bit and I do believe him).

He doesn't think he is a Romantic enough B/F for you ?

What do you consider " Romantic", What does he consider "Romantic" ?

To some it's just holding hands or a touch, a look, a wink, a smile. talking or being silent but knowing you are in tune with each other.

To others its Flowers and Candles and Chocolates and Sex.

Have you asked him his opinion of and told him what you think Romance is ? I don't know if you have a sexual Relationship with him or not. but it is very difficult to be in Love, have a sexual relationship, then just become " Friends".

You don't want to lose him so you agreed to just be Friends ?
Ask Yourself...

What don't you want to lose about him ?
Why does he still want to go to a Movie with you ?
If he wants time to himself and to be on his own for awhile, Why is he asking you out on a date ?

Personally, I would thank him for asking and take a rain check , say you already have a date for that day and leave it at that. Now if he cares as a friend he will be happy you have a date with someone else. If he cares more than friendship for you, he will get a tad upset.

If he does, that is when you can always say Sweetly and kindly.

" You are the one I love dearly, but since you have asked that we be only friends, I must accept your wishes and I can agree to still being friends only.. and since you think I deserve better than you. I decided that you might be right and I should at least go out and find someone You feel deserves me and I deserve him ".

What you will be doing here, is agreeing to his " wishes" of Non~Commitment, letting him know that you love him as a friend and otherwise, and also letting him know that You are not just going to sit and wait for him to make up his mind about You and him in a Relationship.