Thread: Moving in wth Boyfriend

Originally Posted by lizzardb63

I am starting a new job tomorrow for a city and one of the requirments of employment is to be a resident of that city. My boyfriend and I have been together for 11 months. We have our arguments but always work through them.
I can't afford to live on my own and I don't trust anyone else to be a roomate, we've decided that moving in together is the solution to that. Normally a person would be super excited and wanting to move out with them right away. I am happy and I am excited to be moving in with him, but it also scares me. Is this normal? Or does it mean something? I don't think of us breaking up or anything like that, but it is just scary to me.
I guess one thing that worries me is that most people say that marriages dont last as well when the couple lives together before marriage. Also many people have said they regretting living together before marriage because then when it came time to be married, nothing felt different. That freaks me out a little. I want to live with my boyfriend, but I guess I am just wondering if this anxiety is normal and if anyone else has went through this???

Nothing unsual about feeling nervous! This is a big step in a relationship... Even though you two are obviously serious, this makes things even MORE serious because now you're blending households, and so will be sharing space, chores, and expenses.. it gets more intimate, and no matter how long

I wouldn't worry about the whole "living together before marriage will doom marriage" thing. I have always thought this thought process was a farce. How in the world does one prove that living together before marriage is cause for a couple's divorce? Personally, I feel this "statistic" only points to this because couples that live together are much less of the "traditional" mindset, and find divorce a viable option, while those couples who refuse to cohabitate before marriage seem to have a more traditional view of marriage and so wouldn't dream of ever divorcing.

I personally would never marry anyone I didn't live with first. You don't truly KNOW a person until you've lived together. I had been dating my boyfriend exclusively for over 8 years before we moved in together. And when we moved in together, boy did we learn about each other and ourselves... For a while I wasn't entirely sure I could handle it, but as we learned and adapted to each other, we're now closer than ever and have a better understanding for each other than we ever could. After living together for a little over a year, we got engaged and are marrying next year. It doesn't really impact how we feel for each other, but that doesn't make it any less exciting for me or him! We're ecstatic, planning the wedding is a blast, and our family is elated for us, even after being together for so many years, and living together first.