Bi-Sexual Boyfriend ....

**imagine** · 02-07-2011 08:39 PM

Where do I start? Well my boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. We've been friends since FOREVER! Before we started dating he had told me he was bi-curious and when he finally experimented he told me he wanted to do more.(he only had oral sex with a guy once) So I knew all of this going into the relationship. When we did start dating the topic never came up. so last year when he decided to bring up the topic of his sexuality I was a bit surprised. Like I said I knew. He kept saying he wants to be honest and still wants to be with me, that he can never see himself in a serious relationship with a guy. Then he said how he wanted to have a threesome with a guy. I'm all for it but what bothered me was he never brought it up again. Finally I worked up the guts to ask him if he had anyone in mind. His answer was short "I'm not ready when I'm ready I'LL LET YOU KNOW" so I let it go and never brought it up. About three weeks ago he finally brought it up but started saying things in detail. Things like how he feels comfortable with a guy how he never got completely naked around me cus he's insecure but when he was with a guy it didn't bother him. Now I love my boyfriend he's my best friend before anything and I am open to this but I can't help but to feel that maybe this is something he needs to do on his own. I just think that maybe he should experience more with a guy before deciding that he can't be in a relationship with one. He is already talking about marriage and all and my concern is I dont want to continue and do this then down the road have him say what if and regret not doing things. What do I do?

**zazzyzara5** · 02-07-2011 08:55 PM

First of all you sound like a wonderfully understanding and supportive girlfriend

I just think that maybe he should experience more with a guy before deciding that he can't be in a relationship with one.

Have you talked to him about this? If not I can kinda see your hesitation because he might take it the wrong way.. but it seems like you have a great relationship with him outside the bedroom so why not gently bring it up? If it is something he does need to do on his own would you be willing to let him do it?

**BasketCase** · 02-07-2011 10:46 PM

Wow, I am surprised at hpw supportive you are. And I agree, if he is going to do it, then he needs to do it on his own.

My reason for agreeing with you is this. Are you sure you would be able to erase that image from your mind? I know that's a strange question but the sight of him really enjoying that could cause some doubts for you.

**Van** · 02-08-2011 03:37 PM

Okay I can honestly tell you the exact same thing happened to me. The difference being he told me he was Bisexual further on in the relationship. My ex left me because he wanted to explore his sexuality. The only advice I can give to you is, really talk about this with him. Lack of communication was what brought us down. It sounds like you really support him and that's good, but if he's that curious maybe you really need to think about your future and his.

**Ray** · 02-11-2011 09:24 AM

More power to your character for being supportive of him.
And perhaps he has to do this alone.
In either case, my suggestion would be for everyone involved to get regularly tested
if he plans on exploring and you continue to have a sexual relationship.
I'm not making any generalizations about a specific group of people by saying that.
Its just common sense these days if you're partner is having multiple sex partners,
even if you're not the one with the multiple partners.

**WildChild** · 02-11-2011 11:18 AM

Ummm, regularly tested isn't good enough. That won't protect you from catching anything. It will just let you know that you did. Not really helpful if it's deadly.
USE PROTECTION!!! USE CONDOMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**blueclouds** · 02-11-2011 04:04 PM

Hi, everyone is right - you're being really supportive and amazing for him. Personally, it comes across to me that he's not confident about how he feels about sexuality and how that fits with dating you. You haven't said a lot about how your relationship is - how sexual or intimate. However, I'd say, it might be good for both of you to have some space. Him to do what he wants to do and learn what he needs to. You to not have to deal with his sexuality alongside him - it's for him to learn about on his own...

Why not say you'll have a break for a couple of months? If, after that time, you feel you want to be back together, why not both get tested, check you're both clean then start being together again.

As for the marriage comments, I'd be wary. Sounds like a jump to me, compared to him saying he isn't comfortable being naked with you but is with men. Might be that the idea of just settling down with you feels 'easy', rather than dealing with finding out his sexuality and how he wants to date.