Thread: Help. My Friend Seems Domineering and somewhat aggressive at times.

If you aren't comfortable having a conversation with her about this then I think not going along with her when she's grabbing you to lead you around or touching you too much is a possible way to get it to stop. She SHOULD be able to get the hint if you pull away or or say you don't want to do whatever it is she's wanting you to do at that moment. If she gets mad about you saying no or trying to keep your own space, control your OWN body.. then it would seem there's more behind the reason she's trying to be friends with you(not in a lesbian/bi sense). Stand up to her in a more gentle manner like this, may help. But if she really is attracted to you as a friend because she can control you, I wouldn't be surprised if she left. I would think the behavior is escalating because you've been going along with it so either she feels more comfortable being able to be that way with you.. or she's trying to see how far she can take it and she gets enjoyment out of being able to control you.

I suppose there is always a chance of someone being homosexual or bisexual, but with this I don't really see that being the issue. Maybe it's just around the area I live.. but girls even joking or not will be each others "valentines" as a closeness thing, cuddle with each other, or hold hands... these are straight girls. If the touching makes you uncomfortable she really needs to know about it so she can work on it if she truly does value you as a friend.

Originally Posted by miffed23

My initial thought is that she is taking advantage of you. You're a gentle person, she is aggressive. She's become comfortable within your friendship and is letting her true colours show. However, she isn't like this with her other friends...and she seems more aggressive towards you when you're in a group....do her other friends mock you when she picks on you? It is possible that her other friends are of a similar character as her? Maybe this group don't like you and have told your friend that they don't like you, so she feels that she has to be horrible to you in front of them (i'm not justifying that behaviour btw)

Has she ever had a boyfriend that you know of? Do you think that it might be possible that she is homosexual / bisexual?

I would certainly distance myself from her, i'm surprised that you class her as a friend of yours. She comes across as a bully to me and you are too kind to put her in her place.

Well.... back then, she used to be like that normally only when 2 of us were there but now she's acting like this more publicly which is concerning me. Normally, people I know normally aren't really close with her and none of them ever mocked me in such way.

She never had a boyfriend as far as I know but she often talks about her dreams of becoming a wife of a husband so I don't quite think she is lesbian (Though once in a while I did have some suspicions)....

I normally would go find my other friends and hang out with them but if I avoid her too much, she gets her suspicions and once in a while get a little jealous... So I can't seem to have that contact totally distant.

Hmmm. Have you confided in your own friends about this? Are you at school still? If you, could you perhaps tell a teacher about her behaviour that you are close to? That way they will monitor her when she is with you.

If it were me, I would breezily mention that I'm uncomfortable with the way she treats me. If she were to mock me further, i'd firmly say that I respect that we've had some deep conversations and appreciate these, but I feel that I can no longer be friends with someone that is dominant toward me. Don't have this conversation when youre alone though, obviously dont do it in front of her friends, take her to the side where youre still in view of others. If youre not comfortable doing this, try as best as you can to distance yourself, and definitely tell people that you are close to about her behaviour.

Thank goodness I'm not there! It's the weekends

I have mentioned it to my friends and they say that it seems creepy that she's acting this way but doesn't seem to know what to do to handle friends like her (my friends are the overly nice type) . Teachers...im not sure if its going to work with them because she's really smart, teachers <3 her. I also can't seem to trust teachers in school because they're either snoopy or not caring (most are).

Definitely not doing that when we're alone though because its scary enough to be just alone with her sometimes don't want to stir up anything else further when no one else is around. I'll definitely distance myself whenever possible and i think people around her who observes this are also getting a hint about her too when she's like "She's mine." or like "don't leave me here" and stuff... in front of my friends in some cases.