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Thread: Help. My Friend Seems Domineering and somewhat aggressive at times.

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    Default Help. My Friend Seems Domineering and somewhat aggressive at times.


    Let's say I have a friend named Marie-Claire (to keep identity confidential), who I stay during lunch break. For a few months, I have enjoyed her company, her amusing stories, and her ability to hold an intelligent conversation. But recently, she has been slightly more aggressive than she had been before. We were close friends for a while, but I'm starting to wonder why she is getting a little "touchy". If she wants me to go somewhere, she grabs me by the waist and takes me there. It's not a gentle grab, it's like you-better-come-here kind of grab. Idk if im making a big deal out of this but, she also seems to be commanding me what to do. like "go over there", "come here", etc. I somewhat kinda feel like im her pet.

    Often she puts her arm around me and a bit before valentines day we were talking about how guys aren't worth seeing around the community and how we don't really seem to find a good guy. Then, she jokingly asked what if I was her valentine? Though I know she was joking, I felt uncomfortable by this statement. I'm starting to feel slightly intimidated by her and Idk what to tell her. She normally doesn't take no for an answer well and I don't know how I could deal with that.

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    TEAM ADMIN Array CHANDLERS WISH's Avatar
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    She is a domineering person used to getting her own way, so her friends have to be submissive, weaker.

    Ask yourself, are you her only friend? If so why?

    And if not, she would be surrounded by other like minded girls, strong...

    I'd be interested to find out which one.

    It would make it easier to answer you...

    CW
    PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

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    Quote Originally Posted by CHANDLERS WISH View Post
    She is a domineering person used to getting her own way, so her friends have to be submissive, weaker.

    Ask yourself, are you her only friend? If so why?

    And if not, she would be surrounded by other like minded girls, strong...

    I'd be interested to find out which one.

    It would make it easier to answer you...

    CW

    She has other friends but none of my friends really like her because of her personality.

    But she does sometimes hang with other friends but she seems to act this way only towards me which why I found this somewhat strange.

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    TEAM ADMIN Array CHANDLERS WISH's Avatar
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    If her other friends are like-minded. Which is usually why friends click, and your a gentle soul, all round nice girl and so are your friends, then there is a reason why she is be-friending you.

    The fact that you hang out at lunch, are you saying that only you two or with your friends as well?

    Where are her friends every day at lunch time?


    There are two scenarios in my mind..If you are all together, she's baiting it all up, finding it amusing, letting you think she's a friend and laughing with her friends, at how she can control you.

    The other possible scenario is she is actually bi/gay and actually likes you and is controlling you, as if your hers.

    Either way I don't see it as healthy and I'd try to avoid each meet, slowly not all at once, so eventually it dissolves.

    It's a bit of a guessing game without you giving an example of who is around you, whether your other friends are there too, or hers...

    CW
    PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

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    Quote Originally Posted by CHANDLERS WISH View Post
    If her other friends are like-minded. Which is usually why friends click, and your a gentle soul, all round nice girl and so are your friends, then there is a reason why she is be-friending you.

    The fact that you hang out at lunch, are you saying that only you two or with your friends as well?

    Where are her friends every day at lunch time?


    There are two scenarios in my mind..If you are all together, she's baiting it all up, finding it amusing, letting you think she's a friend and laughing with her friends, at how she can control you.

    The other possible scenario is she is actually bi/gay and actually likes you and is controlling you, as if your hers.

    Either way I don't see it as healthy and I'd try to avoid each meet, slowly not all at once, so eventually it dissolves.

    It's a bit of a guessing game without you giving an example of who is around you, whether your other friends are there too, or hers...

    CW


    Well at lunch there are only me and her. She totally puts our conversation away when there are other people in the room. She seems to prefer talking to me especially when she talks more personally when only two of us are around. But when one time i was with her friends,(I can't completely judge if she will continue this since i only was around her friends once) i felt that she does act a bit aggressive towards me. Since I am beginning to feel intimidated by her, I try to avoid her once in a while.

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    Junior Member Array Martha80's Avatar
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    What about that:
    The rest of her friends are weak and boring, and she picked you (the strongest from all her friends) to convince herself that she is truly the best.

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    Default What's up with my friend?

    I have a close friend of mine but lately, she is leaving me confused about my relationship to her as a close friend. She's been touching my arm a lot more than a friend should be, if she wanted to go somewhere, she grabs me by the waist or the arm aggressive enough to signal me,"we are going to go this way". Also, she touches my arm or in some cases even tries to hold my hand when she mentions how she wants to stay with me. I want to test and see if she really is but I'm afraid I might misinform her and this is making me feel uncomfortable. How could I address this issue to her without misinterpreting that I no longer wants to be friends with her? She's a great friend but sometimes, I am a bit scared of her. If things don't go her way, she becomes this angry person and I don't want that.. Oh what shall i do?

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    August 2011 Poster of the Month Array Little.Chuck's Avatar
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    http://www.womens-health.com/boards/...ive-times.html

    I presume it is the same friend?.. You would have been better to repost on your previous thread, as they will likely be merged anyway. We are not allowed to create more than one thread on the same subject/problem.
    ...


    Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. - Mary Anne Radmacher


    ...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Little.Chuck View Post
    http://www.womens-health.com/boards/...ive-times.html

    I presume it is the same friend?.. You would have been better to repost on your previous thread, as they will likely be merged anyway. We are not allowed to create more than one thread on the same subject/problem.
    yes.... she's been increasingly getting worse with it lately.... And Idk what to do with it anymore.... Thanks. I didn't know that. so do i add it on as a reply?

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    December 2008 "Poster of the Month" Array miffed23's Avatar
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    My initial thought is that she is taking advantage of you. You're a gentle person, she is aggressive. She's become comfortable within your friendship and is letting her true colours show. However, she isn't like this with her other friends...and she seems more aggressive towards you when you're in a group....do her other friends mock you when she picks on you? It is possible that her other friends are of a similar character as her? Maybe this group don't like you and have told your friend that they don't like you, so she feels that she has to be horrible to you in front of them (i'm not justifying that behaviour btw)

    Has she ever had a boyfriend that you know of? Do you think that it might be possible that she is homosexual / bisexual?

    I would certainly distance myself from her, i'm surprised that you class her as a friend of yours. She comes across as a bully to me and you are too kind to put her in her place.
    “As you regonise that you already own the wholeness you seek, and no one outside you can give you more than you already are, dysfunctional situations will evaporate like bad dreams exposed to the morning sun.”

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