I think he might want babies...uh oh!

**ccraig42** · 02-22-2011 09:54 AM

My boyfriend is going on 24 and I'm only 21. Of course going in I didn't think the age difference would matter much. Boy was I wrong!

Lately he's been saying and doing things that lead me to believe he's ready to make some babies with me! He insisted we come up with a more suitable name should we have a daughter and he talks about how if I got pregnant now, we would keep it!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not against this idea of keeping it should I accidentally get pregnant. It's just weird that he took a complete 180 from saying that we should give it up for adoption! But I am not trying to get pregnant right now. We're both finishing up school and haven't even started our careers!

I've also told him countless times that I refuse to have a child out of wedlock. I don't want to become another statistic! Most of the girls I graduated with have babies or are pregnant! I wanna do this the right way. White dress and all!!

Anyone else experienced this? I never thought being with someone a little bit older might mean we'd have to compromise these type of things!

**WildChild** · 02-22-2011 10:05 AM

I think you are very right to want to finish school and get established in life before you consider having children. It sounds like you are thinking more maturely than he is.
How long have the two of you been together?
When we are first attracted to someone our brains are flooded with a host of "infatuation" chemicals which stick around anywhere from 6 to 24 months. It is only after these subside that we find out what we really have in a relationship. If you haven't built a solid base of common interest, well matched sex drives and shared goals as well as the ability to function well as a couple and still hold you individuality, then you will fall apart. Too many couples jump into setting up housekeeping of having a baby before they have gotten through this critical time.

**ccraig42** · 02-22-2011 10:22 AM

We've been together almost 2 1/2 years...moved in together at almost 2 years...the weird thing about it is we're just getting over a really rough time in our relationship. I was thinking that maybe that was why he was talking babies! I'm just a bit freaked out. I'm not secure enough nor anywhere near ready to share his love with a child. I'm too selfish right now.

**WildChild** · 02-22-2011 10:23 AM

Nothing wrong with have a good long time of just the two of you. Enjoy each other!

**ccraig42** · 02-22-2011 10:48 AM

My thoughts exactly!! =]

**rcoreyus** · 02-22-2011 02:35 PM

Please be careful not to get pregnant unless you are absolutely sure you both want a child. It is terribly unfair to the child otherwise.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 02-22-2011 02:42 PM

It maybe that he evaluated his relationship with you, having gone through a rough patch and is actually, really, just letting you know that your the person he wants to be with, now and in the future..

Sharing if you like his thoughts.

CW

**Beautiful Disaster** · 02-22-2011 03:00 PM

Take your time. You have PLENTY.

**ccraig42** · 02-22-2011 04:35 PM

Yeah I'm taking precautions to make sure...I want to be able to enjoy my child instead of resenting it. We have plans on moving to another state sometime in the near future and I feel as though a child would anchor me here. My mom always warned me to take her mistake and lead by example because she missed out on a lot by having all of us at a young age.

**ccraig42** · 02-22-2011 04:36 PM

Not that she means she thinks we're a mistake...but she wishes she would have waited a little bit longer. She wanted to be a doctor and she's had to slowly work her way up in a bank to get where she is today. She couldn't even finish school.