My boyfriend deceived me :((

**Venera** · 02-22-2011 12:07 PM

Hello everyone,
My story is not one of the happiest ones. But what happened is that, my boyfriend deceived me for the second time. His first deception was, he was saying that he does not have a girlfriend before we started dating and said that he does not have any kids. But later on, I found out from the strangers that he has two kids. This was really shocking to me, because I trusted him even didn't go to police when he did the date rape and took away my virginity. Then after when we discussed all these situation, he said that he is not with the babies' mother and wanted me to stay with him. I don't know why I even trusted him, but I thought that maybe this time he won't lie and decided to be with him. I know other girls would most likely leave him already, but somehow I couldn't. I don't know what was holding me there, maybe the fact that he was my first. And just today, I found out that he got his third child born. This is another shocking news for me, because I became pregnant from him like last year but I decided to do an abortion pill. And all this time he was talking about loyalty, that he is being loyal to me, and touched no one.
Maybe I will be fine later on, but all these are so depressing to hear and digest at once. And now, I just need the moral support because I feel like lost

(

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 02-22-2011 02:20 PM

Honey,

I think your in denial.

A man raped you, took away your virginity and that is a horrible, horrible thing. Our minds can supress what ever hurts us. And, the abuser manages therefore, to maintain the abused.

In addition, he was your first, so you see that as "trying to make it a relationship and trying to make it work".. Yet, he is a lier.. He took what he wanted, told you what you wanted to hear and continues to lie.

Most men/boys treat a woman with respect.

A loving relationship there are no lies.

I'm sorry that you have gone through all of this, I'm not sorry that you've caught him out lying yet again, what are you going to do about it, allow more lies? Not realise him for his worth, realise your worth and what happened to you and why you've been locked into this "relationship" and get out of it?

You deserve love. Not any of this.

CW

**Beautiful Disaster** · 02-22-2011 03:05 PM

He is showing you who he is. When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

You are selling yourself WAY short. No one wants a life of deceit.....but that's what you're setting yourself up for.

It's time to break the ties and learn to love yourself.

**Seeker_Advice** · 02-22-2011 03:46 PM

As difficult as it may seem, it's time for you to go....

Life is too short to settle for this kind of behavior.

**Venera** · 02-22-2011 06:16 PM

Thanks everyone for the support and the advice.
I will do my best to erase him from my mind although it would be the most difficult part. I wish I could erase him from my memory as well but that's unfortunately impossible((

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 02-22-2011 06:35 PM

Venera,

Do you have anyone to talk to about all that happened, the date rape?

I think if you were able to talk about it you'd see clearer on what really happened that night, whilst it is always painful to really remember, it will give you closure and it will help you totally forget him and move on with your life to a person who will treat you like a princess...

CW

**Venera** · 02-22-2011 10:22 PM

Originally Posted by CHANDLERS WISH

Venera,

Do you have anyone to talk to about all that happened, the date rape?

I think if you were able to talk about it you'd see clearer on what really happened that night, whilst it is always painful to really remember, it will give you closure and it will help you totally forget him and move on with your life to a person who will treat you like a princess...

CW

I think I have, I'll tell my friend about whatever happened. Hopefully she won't criticize and will comfort me morally. Because these days, I have so much to do, school and plus work, and now this happened. One thing that is keeping me from falling apart is the fact that I should work in my career field and have a loving family (where hopefully the husband won't be abuser), with my own kids.

I'm very grateful for those who supported me and gave me advice, because it really helped me to calm myself down from weeping even more.

**jns** · 02-22-2011 10:33 PM

Venera, you don't deserve him and he doesn't deserve you. He will not change in a good way, only get more abusive. Get out now.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 02-23-2011 03:04 AM

Originally Posted by Venera

I think I have, I'll tell my friend about whatever happened. Hopefully she won't criticize and will comfort me morally. Because these days, I have so much to do, school and plus work, and now this happened. One thing that is keeping me from falling apart is the fact that I should work in my career field and have a loving family (where hopefully the husband won't be abuser), with my own kids.

I'm very grateful for those who supported me and gave me advice, because it really helped me to calm myself down from weeping even more.

Don't fear her re-action just talk to her, and then there is us sweet

You can have what you want but like jns said, get out now and work on healing over this, admitting what he did and don't allow the abuser to make you his...

We're here...

CW