How could she be so selfish?

**ccraig42** · 02-28-2011 11:45 AM

A few months back, a very close friend of mine was raped and murdered by her parents. Her sister and I became closer to help each other deal with the loss. I just received word that the sister died in the hospital from a suicide attempt. Completely at a loss for words..

**pretzel** · 02-28-2011 11:58 AM

So sorry to hear that.

I know you're at a loss for words and that's completely understandable.

No matter what, sometimes we just don't know or understand the pain that some go through in response to tragedies. Sometimes we just don't know.

**jns** · 02-28-2011 01:15 PM

I'm so sorry to hear that. Her pain must have been immense. Hugs to you.

Keep posting. Others here have gone through similar circumstances and may be able to give you words that will be comforting.

**BettyCrocker** · 02-28-2011 02:16 PM

I am sure you were a blessing to her during the time she was grieving. A death of a sibling is one thing. The death being caused by her parents, along with a sexual assault is like exponentially traumatic. I am sure she easily justified it thinking it would end her pain. I am sure she thought she was more of a burden to you than anything because she had so much pain. I am sorry to hear that she couldn't deal with the pain. There is nothing more you could have done and the time you spent supporting her I am sure she appreciated more than anything. You need to take care of you, make sure you have someone to talk to..even a counselor to get out all those feelings because you yourself have been through a lot and had a lot to deal with being her friend as well. Stay strong.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 02-28-2011 03:19 PM

You know, it's never ever, easy to understand suicide, a deep connection with her sister, a feeling that she couldn't be there to stop it, soul destroying..it was by her parents... How can we move on from that....

But, you are an angel..You were there for her...She knows that, her decision was her own and there was nothing you could do about it...

I know your hurt, angry, write her a letter, and go to the lake, read it to her... she knows she was loved by you, I'm sorry for your loss...

**ccraig42** · 02-28-2011 04:58 PM

Thank you all for your kind words...I really really hope they've found each other..

**London09** · 03-05-2011 08:05 PM

I am so sorry for all the pain and all the people who have been hurt. Your friends pain was so deep, so all consuming that ending it was all she could think of to stop the pain. As horrid as this all is, it has taught you and others the value of life and living each day to it's fullest. Perhaps you can do something to honor your friend.
Maybe make a donation to a local library in her name and a book will have a small paragraph in the front saying so and so dedicated this book.
Or have a star named after her, there are so many things you can do to honor her. A small donation to a favorite charity. Try and turn her life into something positive for your own happiness.

**ccraig42** · 03-05-2011 11:05 PM

Thanks, London. I'm actually working on a song for the both of them.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 03-07-2011 07:36 AM

What a sad story. I can only imagine if the girls sister was raped and murdered by her OWN parents, she must have had quite a rough life as well. And then to lose her ally in such a horrific way, the pain must have been immense.

Anger is part of the grieving process. You may feel angry at her for being selfish and taking her life. But that's where empathy must come into play, and compassion....and you must remind yourself that while you are strong and know that you'll not be given something you cannot handle..........not everyone has that strength and she felt like she couldn't carry on.

Use this as an opportunity to empower yourself. Get as educated as you can on child abuse, bereavement, suicide and be an ally for someone else.......... in their honor.

**ccraig42** · 03-08-2011 09:49 AM

Thank you.

It's so nice to have this much support. I'm loving all the ideas you all keep giving me. I will make sure that their spirit lives on through stories to help encourage others to know when to speak out, and to know that they have a worth. Life is too precious...