My best friend broke my heart...

**Lexi23** · 03-07-2011 02:38 PM

I've been friends with my best friends for 3 years, i have always been such a good friend to her.

I've had her back, i have lost friends because i stood up for her to them, i paid for her plane ticket to come on vacation with my family, i always loan her money and buy her food when she is broke, i drive her everywhere, for her birthday 2 years ago i bought her the digital camera she had been wanting, even though i was broke working part time, paying off tickets and such, and i used my whole check to get her the present she wanted.

This year i was kinda broke on her birthday because i had moved into a new place and had to pay a 1500 deposit. So, since it was her 21st birthday i took my jar of change i had been saving up for almost a year, traded it in for money used it all on her birthday dinner, her first drink, and took her to get a manicure and pedicure. I spent like 200 dollars because i also had to pay for myself and that was money i was saving for so long.

Then i got all our friends together and we all went to a bar, even though i don't go out on weekdays since i work early in the morning.

I stayed sober and took care of her, just so she could drink and enjoy her 21st and i was her driver also.

We fight and stuff and i can say things that may be hurtful but not as bad as her. If we fight and i tell someone about it, she blows up, every time we fight she has to be right and I'm wrong.

She never wants to see it my way or listen to my side. She goes and tells everyone, then makes me look bad, even gets her sisters involved so they can treat me like and call me names. They cus me out, say I'm crazy, i need to see a doctor, and just put me down so much.

Even when we aren't fighting she puts me down when other people are around. She has hurt me so many times, but this weekend just was border line painful. My cousin (I introduced them to each other) anyways, my cousin saw that i posted on a friends status on Facebook that she should hang out this weekend and i might have a get together at my house.

My cousin posted on it and was like "why am i not invited?" and i said i haven't even planned it, it's just a thought and u would be invited if i did have it, and plus my best friend told me that my cousin wasn't gonna be going out that weekend because she broke her leg.

So she just went off on facebook (my cousin did) and started saying that my karma is so bad because I'm a horrible person, that no one likes me, that people are right about me, that I'm the shittiest friend ever, then started calling me a on facebook just horrible stuff.

Then i talk to my best friend expecting her to have my back, that's what best friends do. But she back stabbed me so bad, said that my cousin is right, that I'm a horrible person and i have no heart and i don't have any friends (which i do, and the only friends they have are ones they met through me, and they met each other through me too) and they both just went off on me, then my best friend messages me and said she wasn't going to take sides, and everything was fine.

I come home to meet up with her to hang out and she was gone, i asked my sister and she told me she had left with my cousin.

Then i asked her about it and she went off on me. Her and my cousin started blowing up my phone, calling me every name in the book, telling everyone I'm psycho, calling me fat (I'm 5'3 and weigh 120, I'm not fat) my cousin weighs like 300 pounds and she says "i had a baby whats ur excuse?" and i told her she was fat her whole life (she was) and she had a baby 2 years ago...people usually get back in shape in a couple months...then they called me muffin top and said that everyone calls me that cuz no one likes me.

Then my best friends started calling my sister and telling her shes done with me saying she has been done with me for a while but just stuck around cuz I'm convenient (i drive her everywhere, she's 21 and has no license or car) and she stayed with my cousin all weekend.

That was our thing, she would come every weekend to hang out with me and we would go clubbing and hang out with our friends. Then she got her sisters to talk about me on facebook so i deleted my facebook. I didn't hear from them for 2 days, then yesterday i guess my friend made a fake phone number and he text my cousin trying to defend me...they saw that the number was fake and coming from my account ( i didn't know this was happening because he had my phone, not me) and i guess my cousin went off on him saying "we know this is u Lexi" and they apparently called me names again and said horrible things and he didn't even wanna tell me what they said because he didn't want me to be more hurt than i already am. Then they went looking for me at my friends house (i guess they thought me and my other friend were the ones texting her) but we weren't, then they wouldn't leave me alone, driving around the area they thought i was at, when i was at home the whole time, without my phone, they were looking for me to beat my , and i never ever text her or even left my house, but now they are threatening me and saying that they will embarrass me and tell everyone that I'm texting them from a fake number but i never did, and they just keep saying i have no friends, no life, and no one likes me and that I'm psycho etc.

I have never ever been so hurt in my entire life, i cry myself to sleep, wake up in the middle of the night and cry because i cant sleep, my heart hurt, my stomach hurts, i cant stop thinking about what they did and how they treated me...everyone is asking me what is going on, how all this started JUST because my cousin thought she wasn't invited to something that was never planned, they said so many hurtful things.

I know they don't feel bad and will always think i was in the wrong but I'm so hurt, all i want is at least an apology.

Or for my best friend to regret what she did, and how she chose my cousin over me, who she has known for a few months, and i was the only person she has ever been so close to, tell everyone to, laugh, joke with all our inside jokes, put up with her attitude, and with what she calls me a puts me down, i put up with all of it.

I miss her even though she hurt me. But she acts so hard and she will never ever think she is wrong, they both think I'm the most ed up person in the world. All my other friends know I'm a good friend, I'm so sad and hurt

i hate my cousin more than anything for all she called me, for stealing my best friend and turning her against me and getting her to hate me, and for all the hurtful and painful things they did...please help me i really am broken.

I never thought i could suffer from heart break because of a friendship...help me? please...

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 03-07-2011 03:03 PM

Lexi

The people that accept generosity,take advantage of that generosity, take pride in using people for self gain, for humiliating those people, taking advantage of their weakness and ultimately are not your friends...

And Lexi, people who are such givers and give and give, using every last cent they own, usually are doing so for the want and need to be loved and they therefore become targets for these types of characters...

Don't be a victim, learn to love yourself and give to those who will give back, or who appreciate it and you for who you are...

We honestly create our own misery in life so often without realising it...

Lose this friend, she isn't a friend, she backstabs, takes and takes and I bet she has never done any of that for you in the whole 3 years, and distance yourself from your cousin...

Hang with the friends who want nothing from you other than to be your friend and toughen up and don't allow yourself to be used.

CW

**Lexi23** · 03-07-2011 04:17 PM

Thank u so much, that really helped...thanks for everything u just said. I feel better and reading that helped me a lot. It put me in a better mood. I hope I will be able to get through it fast, i just want an apology...that's it. I will definitely cut her out of my life for good. And as for my cousin, i will do the same. She needs to get her own friends and not steal mine and turning mine against me...

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 03-07-2011 05:40 PM

You don't need an apology sweet, you now know the "type" so just smile in that knowing...

If your cousin steels your friends it is because she herself has trouble making them and is probably jealous of the love you have for people, that draws them in (even the users

)....if you intend to distance her, block her from facebook and if she asks why? Tell her because I can not be myself on there without you writing something and it is my page....

And, if you need to vent? Come back here, and as for more friends? Hang about because you can make some here as well...

Lastly, the next time you save, make yourself a promise that it is for YOU because that is what saving is all about....

CW

**Beautiful Disaster** · 03-08-2011 07:22 AM

I think you need to take the focus on them, and move it to yourself. The only way a woman your age would tolerate this kind of treatment and keep going back for more is if she has low self esteem. It's clear from your post that is an issue for you. You feel badly about yourself and you work overtime to try to make others think good of you. Honestly, when reading the behavior you described in your post from everyone involved, if I hadn't known better I would've thought this was a bunch of middle school or high school girls. The fighting on facebook, calling names, pitting one friend against another friend, someone making up a fake phone # and texting about it, etc. Why be a part of such immaturity and drama? You're a grown woman. Stop surrounding yourself with immature dramatic selfish individuals. It will stop happening, when you stop caring about people that don't deserve your time.

**Lexi23** · 03-08-2011 02:33 PM

Chandler's wish,
That was really nice of you and it means a lot to me

I feel the same, I'm sure she is jealous of me because i have always had more friends than her. She is not a good person she is always hurting people, she just has a bad attitude and is very rude. Me on the other hand, i like to make people happy and go out of my way to do it. They both deleted me and blocked me on facebook the day it happened (Friday) but then my "best" friend got her sister involved and posting more stuff on there so i decided to delete my facebook for a while. I will keep coming here though because i feel like it is helping me feel better, thank you so much. I will stop talking to them for good, even if they do try to come back to me. I have a lot of good friends who would never treat me that way.

**Lexi23** · 03-08-2011 02:36 PM

Beautiful Disaster,

Thank you for that advice, yes it does seem like middle school or high school drama, i will stay away from it now because i am more mature and don't need to be dealing with it, i was just heated at the time but now I'm calm and letting the stress out by going to the gym and being with good people. I will never surround myself with them again, or anyone like that. Maybe someday they will realize that they were wrong and i was a good friend but it will be too late.

**LILYBET** · 03-08-2011 05:33 PM

The need for affiliation is the need to interact with others to avoid negative emotions such as rejection and loneliness. These type of people come across not as extraverted, friendly or sociable but as "needy". Furthermore, people high in affiliation monitor whether other people disapprove of them and spend time seeking reassurance from others, a pattern of behavior that explains why they come across as needy. The need for affiliation is the need for acceptance and approval. It seems to me that you have a high need for affiliation and a low one for intimacy.
Social isolation and fear-arousing conditions are two situations that increase a person's desire to affiliate with others.