Divorce and ring...

**curlygirl18** · 03-16-2011 11:21 AM

Hi ladies. A few months back I came on this website really struggling over pursuing a divorce. Many ladies chimed in and helped me and now it is NEXT WEEK WEDNESDAY!

I have another dilemma though...what do I do with my engagement ring? My wedding band is not worth much so I am not too thoughtful about that, but my engagement ring is worth something.

I know people sell it and take the money and that is what I'm leaning towards but I also love that ring. I know I will never wear it again and it kind of pains me to look at it, but I don't know. Also, I feel like I sort of have to give him some of the money...he bought it, right?

I dont want to feel guilty selling it but I also dont want to keep it and then never wear it and look at it and feel sad. It's in the past, right?

Selling it just feels wrong somehow...I don't know.

Thoughts?

**WildChild** · 03-16-2011 11:26 AM

Give it back to him.

**JustHormonious** · 03-16-2011 11:28 AM

Have the diamond(s) reset... Just a thought.

**Seeker_Advice** · 03-16-2011 04:56 PM

HE gave it to you. It is yours to do with as you see fit (in this man's opinion).

I assume you have no children together?

Selling it won't bring nearly as much as he paid for it....the racket of the industry...so have the stone(s) moved to another setting of some sort.

**WildChild** · 03-16-2011 05:13 PM

Part of this depends on where the ring came from. If this is his grandmother's ring or something like that then you really should return it to the family or if you have children save it for them.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 03-17-2011 07:27 AM

I don't think there's a right or a wrong here. It's whatever you feel you need to do. When my engagement (obviously never got to the marriage part.

) ended, I gave him the ring back. No reason really, it just seemed like the right thing to do in my situation, at the time. I think giving the ring back makes a statement of "I am done with this. I want no part of you. " But that's just me. Lots of women keep their rings after divorce and sell them and get pleasure out of making a few bucks. Nothing wrong with that either.

**pretzel** · 03-17-2011 07:39 AM

I agree with BD in that there's no right or wrong (other than if it's a family heirloom).

I definately agree with Seeker, when I gave my ex her engagement ring and the wedding ring, it wasn't a loan, it was a gift and at the time a gift from the heart. The fact that the marriage ended doesn't lessen the intent and emotions at the time.

Same is true with my wife. It's hers to do as she pleases with it.

**stariana** · 03-17-2011 08:34 AM

I am in the same boat! I had an appraisal done on my engagement because I was really broke (guess who's paying for the ENTIRE divorce??!!?) and it was only appraised a fraction of what he originally paid for it ..... so I have decided to keep it for now. Even having is set in another setting doesn't seem right??? It's still the diamond he gave me. . . .

**Hopeless Dork** · 03-17-2011 08:41 AM

I think it would depend on who broke off the engagement and why... if he spent thousands on that ring for you -- and you were the one that decided to call it off ... I think the right thing to do would be to give it back to him... If it was a mutual break up and both of you decided not to proceed... then use the same mediation that lead to that to ask him how he feels about the ring... however if he ended things with you -- I think the ring is yours to sell and keep to do what you want with. UNLESS it was a family heirloom... then I'd say give it back and wipe your hands of it.

**Seeker_Advice** · 03-17-2011 08:55 AM

If you're "paying for the entire divorce" then I hope you are getting everything in your favor too.

Divorces don't have to cost a lot of money. The "industry" of law wants you to believe that they do. Depending on where you live, you can type up an agreement between the two of you, sign it (with witnesses present) and go and make it "legal" through the courts for little or nothing.

I had a friend who divorced his first wife for less than $100.00 and is very pleased.

I spent multiple thousands and ended up not happy with the result.