Sex in a relationship is a need? Help me understand.
My professor some years ago who taught psychology responded to a students question about how Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs placed sex at the bottom of the pyramid with physical needs.
She was upset that Maslow would think that because in her mind then that gives a man an excuse to sexually assault a woman into sex. The professor assured her that in reality all Maslow meant was that if our parents didn't have sex we wouldn't exist and he totally sympathized with how she was upset and thought she was correct.
Later in the class however the same professor said that a wife shouldn't refuse sex from her husband because it was a "need".
Wouldn't that be the same thing in the case of the husband that if it was a "need"" then the husband has an excuse to sexually assault her?
Like what did he mean that it was a need for a husband to sleep with his wife but that in general we can't say that a man needs to have sex.
Is he contradicting himself? I don't get it.
Just because a man (or woman) "needs" sex doesn't mean he (or she) can "take" it... there is never an excuse to sexually assault anyone for any reason... in my mind.
I don't think that is what the professor meant when he said a wife shouldn't refuse sex to her husband, I'd take him to mean that you should never refuse the connection he needs.
Just because you need something does not give you the right to steal it. I do think sex is important to a relationship, and could be classified as a "need". In that case though the response to not getting enough sex is not rape, but rather to leave the relationship and find someone who will supply that need. (assuming that you have found no way to reconcile the your differences of sex).
There is a lot of evidence that a significant number of straight men will engage in homosexual activity (prisons, navy, etc), when deprived of women. Since they would not normally do this, it suggests that the "need" for sex is quite strong. It is not however a life-threatening need.
Sounds to me like the professor was interjecting his moral beliefs that it's a wifes duty to be available at anytime for her husband to fullfil his needs as a man and master of the house.
You'd be suprised, maybe not, at how many religions teach that, and how many people actually believe it.
To each their own though.
Took a quick look at his pyramid,
It reads to me that what Maslow meant is that "sex" is a basic need in any society as a means to promulgate the population. Thus it is a physical aspect that a society needs to build upon.
In that regard, yes it is a basic need, i.e. why it's at the base of the pyramid. Whereas the need for intimacy is in the middle of the pyramid. It's based on the physical aspect needed but is more emotional.
There will always be boundries, but making love is so different, than having sex, let's face it. CW
Just because it's a need doesn't mean you have to fulfill it every time. However if sex is lacking too much for too long in a relationship the relationship will likely end or become something very bad. It does not mean rape is ok but you cannot always ignore the other person and never help them fulfill their needs. They will likely feel unloved, ignored, forgotten, maybe jealous... If you never want to then something is wrong that needs to be discussed or it's time for the relationship to end because not everyone is going to get what they need.
I think you have to break it down into two components- Procreational sex and recreational sex.
Mankind needs Procreational sex- without it the species is dust in the wind.
Mankind wants recreational sex- if only for the feelgood hormones.
Because of the need to procreate man has an inbuilt desire to have sex. Women in general have a higher requirement for proof of commitment before sex but this doesnt make them want or need sex less.
Forced sex is an act of violence and should not be confused with Proc/rec sex.
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