Thread: Sister issues, really need help!

I always feel guilty when I say that things are hard because of how good I have it.

My parents are really wonderful and my two sisters are amazing to me, and my dad thank G-d earns enough to give us what we need, want and more.

We are all really close (mostly all of us) and happy thank G-d!.

However, I have a third sister who at the moment I wouldn’t even like to acknowledge as a person never mind my own sister. (I will refer to the sister with whom I have issues as Beth and the other two, who will never be referred to separately, as “the supporters”)

Ever since I can remember I have been fighting with Beth on and off. The supporters have had the same problem as me with Beth and can relate to me. I am however the youngest in my family by 6 years so all my sisters have moved out and are married.

Beth, even though she too is married with kids, is constantly at my house which doesn’t give me any space from her which is why I am the one who is constantly fighting with her.

The supporters are away and have their own lives and cars and families.

I am only 16 and cannot drive.

It has been a real privilege to have the support of the supporters up until now, but they have just told me that they will no longer be involved in my fights with Beth because at the moment they have good relationships with her and agreeing with me and coaching me through it all will be going behind Beth’s back.

I agree with them and understand them, but this makes it harder for me as they were the only two with whom I could discuss this with.

My parents, in my opinion are blinded with their love for Beth because she is their daughter, which although difficult at times, I do understand.

This is why I have turned to writing. Let me tell you what Beth does to upset me so much.

Beth is really wonderful to people she is not related to. She is very giving and always ready to help. However, when it comes to family she is the opposite. Beth has said things to me, which have really damaged me, things I will never forget.

She told me that I am unwanted in the family, I was a mistake and no body likes me, she told me that my amazing father speaks to her behind my back about me, which is totally untrue. Her aim is to hit me in the spot where it really hurts. I am the youngest by a lot. These things could be true. She told me that one of the supporters doesn’t like me, but rather tolerates me, also untrue, I happen to know that that supporter does not like Beth, maybe even more than I don’t like her.

The incidents which I have mentioned are recent events, ones that are fresh in my mind that I can easily recall, this has been going on my whole life. These events don’t cover a corner of all the things that she has done to pain me, make me cry, crippled with hurt. I have not mentioned anything that I may have done to induce her attacks on me.

This is because I am not really sure. It is quite hard to explain or give an example. Mostly she will say or do something to make me stand up for myself.

The things she will say or do will be hints, inadvertent snide remarks or selfish acts of cruelty that cause me to lash out in self defense which gives her the cue for attack. I have no idea why she does this or why she wants to hurt her sisters’. She (well I believe) is truly evil. They say people are kind with an evil streak. She is evil with a kind one that is reserved for an outward appearance as mentioned previously. I really believe that Beth is a child trapped in a thirty year olds body. Here is a recent fight, not the most recent however:

Beth has a weird obsession with silky material. She loves to rub it between her fingers as a way to calm herself. She has recently discovered that the wrappers of chocolates are very silky and now is constantly rubbing a wrapper between her fingers. I have a collection of chocolates (sounds ridiculous but it is very important to me) and now with her new discovery, Beth has been unwrapping my chocolates to get the wrapper whenever she is at my house (everyday). I decided to be patient with her and tell her to stop as it bothers me. The next day and the next, I came home from school to find her ignoring my request. This got me really angry and caused me to hide my chocolates from her.

I find this quite ridiculous that she wouldn’t respect my basic request. Anyway a few days later she came up to me while at my house and asked me where the chocolates were. I naturally refused to tell her. She persisted and insisted that this would be her last one. I firmly told her that

I would not let her have even one, but Beth (who is also manipulative) has no idea how to take no for an answer and can get really scary and vicious. She became “devil eyed” and I, almost bewitched, stood up and was on my way to get her a wrapper. Then I realized that I owe her nothing and blatantly refused to fulfill her request and ran to my room. She showed up behind me and went to my bed and tore up my blanket. She then informed me that that I am ugly and a pig.

She knows that as a teenager I am sensitive about my looks. She really knows how to get me. I could sit here for hours typing about all that she has done to me but I will stop now, hoping I have given you a clear enough view of the situation to try and help me. What do you suggest?