I still feel guilty

**flink88** · 04-01-2011 06:49 AM

I drunkenly fooled around with a friend a few years ago just a few months into my current relationship. I felt so guilty about it that I told my boyfriend and he forgave me. What I never told him was that it happened when my boyfriend was passed out in the room. I still feel guilty about it, and don't know whether telling him this detail will make any difference to him.
The majority of our relationship has taken place since this incident and we're happy. I don't know whether to tell him and risk what we have over a detail of what he's already forgiven me for, and whether it's my selfish need to feel less guilty about the whole thing that is prompting me to keep thinking about this.
Should I tell him he was passed out in the room, or should I just learn to live with the overall guilt and just be ed happy he forgave me?

**Claret** · 04-01-2011 07:48 AM

Why would you further want to hurt him with this detail? What would you accomplish other than taking the burden of guilt off your shoulders? What would happen if he decided that this was "too much" and left you because of it? Would you be any better off? I'm a firm believer that not ALL information has to be shared. This would probably be akin to rubbing salt into the wound. I'd leave well enough alone and the secret will be yours to carry.

**Seeker_Advice** · 04-01-2011 07:59 AM

Let it go....

What "good" would it do now?

Who cares about details? I can almost guarantee that your BF doesn't and I can guarantee that he doesn't want you to bring something up AGAIN that he has already forgiven you for...years ago.

Get over it...the guilt you have...and move on.

You are impacting your relationship with a man who cares enough about you to have forgiven you long ago and has obviously put it behind him.

**jns** · 04-02-2011 09:56 PM

While it's admirable to want to confess your bad actions in the past, you will actually be confessing to that and being deceptive in the past. You should be careful about confessing to your bf again for what he forgave you for. Maybe you could confess to a religious figure or to a psychologist instead. Resolve to be honest and not deceptive in the future.