plzzzzz help!!
so im quite confused because my boyfriend says he loves me and that im the only one for him but yet he keeps doing things that make me think he just likes the idea of a girlfriend and not really me! basically weve been going out for a year now and 6 months ago we went to austrailla together to work howver i had to come home early due to personal reasons but hes out there for another 6 months (because he didnt come back with me!) at the end of which now he says hes going to go travelling at the end for a further 6 weeks! normally i wouldnt mind but i go to uni and he lives in england (and im from ireland) so its hard for us to see eachother!!!! what do you think i should do? i feel like if he doesnt sacrifice time to be with me hes not really worth the effort!!! thanks for help!
Well he doesn't really sound too keen on you if im honest? It sounds like he is keen on living a single life and doing what he wants rather then what is best for the pair of you.
And of course, while you are both living so far apart is it really a loving relationship?
Actions speak louder then words. Im sorry but I would call it a day if he doesn't reason with you. I have done dating a long distance fantasy myself and it is not fun.
I am going to tell you what you don't want to hear!
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't
I don't know how old you are but once you have the travelling bug, especially if young and you can work your way around Australia, say in hospitality, it's exciting. You get to meet all sorts of people, it's warmer here than England as well and so you get to like the climate, Australia has so much to offer, different States equals different types of people and Cities and if you are here, you are going to want to explore and see more of it
You had to leave, ask yourself if it was the other way around, would you keep going? I don't know how you two got along when you were here, so ask yourself that question as well...
Waiting another 6 months and then he adds to that another 2 months, can you be a telephone, skype, internet person for 8 months of your life? I couldn't....and I don't think you will.
Unfortunately roads turn and you have to live and enjoy yourself as well...You don't live in the same Country even when he does return this is a long, long, long distance relationship is that what you want is your heart so in love with him that you couldn't live without him? Or are you coming to realisation that you need more and maybe, this person has served his purpose with you and it's time to find someone close to home that can share your life.
CW
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
Not sure of your ages ?
Not that it matters, but if you two are young, then, from your words, you both went to OZ to work. You had to leave early due to " Personal Reasons". He didn't have to leave and shouldn't be expected to give up his Job and his Income just because you had to.
Unless you are Engaged and had a Permanent Commitment and Agreement , that if one had to go home the other would also, There is no reason he should give up employment and a Commitment to whomever hired him for that year of Service.
Another thing is that once his Year of Hard work is done, It is not Un~Natural for him to want to see the Sights that such a Beautiful Country has to offer. To Relax, Enjoy, Explore the Mountains, Deserts,Seashores . It's a Chance of a lifetime for him. One he may never have the Chance, Money or Time to do, again Once he goes home to the UK.
What do you do this next 7 1/2 months ?
Get yourself into your Schooling, Study hard., Make the best of this Uninterrupted Time and Focus on your Education and Career goals.
Get Skype or a web cam and have contact daily if possible, If not ... set times that you both will have time to Chat.
You say, he says he loves you and you are the Only one ? If you believe that and he is your Only One. Give him the Trust and Respect that what he says is Truth.
And also give him the Freedom to Stretch his wings, to Experience things on his own. Knowing that you await him with open arms, when he comes home, in thus showing him you are a woman to Admire and Love and Respect in Return.
When it is time for him to go home to the UK, Plan ahead to take time off ( You ) so you two can have a Reunion, whether it Be Ireland Or England, it won't matter..
Just having some time together after the absence should be enough to tell if each other is as Interested or Committed to the Relationship to continue or not.
That statement just rubs me wrong for some reason. Not trying to be critical, but that is a bit selfish and self centered to me. Just look at how many Men & Women Worldwide are in the Military or Civil Service or ones that are Rescuers or First responders to Natures Tragedy's and Man Made Wars..i feel like if he doesnt sacrifice time to be with me hes not really worth the effort!!! thanks for help!
They Sacrifice their Family ,Time, Income, Self Comfort and Volunteer to help so many others in their Time of need. Others are just sent there in the Call Of Duty.
Sacrifice to me is to Give of Oneself for the Greater needs of Others. Which also means to Sacrifice your Wants of him to be with you and Understand that if it is meant to be, he will come Home to you.
You also mentioned
Is there more than the He didn't leave OZ when you did ? Are there other things that you haven't mentioned ?yet he keeps doing things that make me think he just likes the idea of a girlfriend and not really me!
Please inform us a little more if there are other things ?
thank you for replying! im loving yours spurzzz! and yea your right chandlers wish i dont know if i can do skype for another 7 months!
i was expecting a response like yours somewhere....i do appreciate it! and i know it sounds selfish this why i posted thsi because i didnt feedback and not just what i wanted to hear! i feel the only reason i am quite bitter is because the day that i found out the news that i had to return home (i was devestated by it) my boyfriend had organised a a one night trip to sydney months prior to this and still went knowiing that i would be leaving in the next couple of days
i knew were young but im in love and the stage where i want to be with him every second!
thanks again
Because of long distance, you had the chance to be together and it was wicked, that belonging...so it's natural that you would be upset at leaving, however, he planned the trip ages ago, andit was one night, he still had the full day and next night..that's not selfish, that's purely living your life with some independance, without there being any a fear of loss of someone over it...
I'm feeling that you are needy due to it being long distant...and therefore want all the time, you can...stay independant no matter whom you are with, we have a right to be ourselves and if in love, to do those things without having to have those feelings that we have upset someone, as it was planned
If he did that knowing and it wasn't planned I think you have a right to be upset
I think the priority here is to learn to love you, and your own company first before worrying if you should leave and find someone closer.
CW
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
Aimee,
I am sorry your are hurting. It sounds to me like he is not really emotionally ready for any relationship! Please don't think it is anything you did wrong, just realize that not all men are relationship material and it seems to me like he is one of them. So sorry hun!
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