Another question...
I just thought about for you all. I have a friend that has IBS like I do. Men aren't supposed to get this- my friend is a married female. Nothing going on between us at all, I'm not interested and neither is she. We email back and forth and sometimes talk on the phone for hours about what's going on in our lives. Her husband is a welder like myself and we talk about everything, as both are adults and know each others problems pretty well. Except I'm a man and she is a woman. We can relate to each other, but no funny business AT ALL. Could this be bothering my wife? She doesn't understand anyone who is truly sick and could really care less, no compassion for it. My friend understands when I tell her I have terrible cramps from mid chest clear down to my knees and have to stay in bed all day. It happens a couple of times a month and on some days it's very bad. No particular rhyme or reason for it as a change in diet or anything and no set days. Most days I have to lie down to get the cramps to stop, but it's for anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour or so.
Being non compassionate, could she possibly see my friend as a threat? Do you really think? Just throwing it out there-
Maybe... does she ever talk about this friend? ask you about her?
When you are talking with this friend is she there?
I ask because I'd think if it really bothered her and she was present when you were talking with this friend you could tell by her body language. Does she seem to be listening to the converstation? Do you hear those big sighs like "I'm sitting right here but he needs to call another person and talk about his problem??"
Hard to say. Really depends on her. Are there any kinds of support groups for IBS? It might be better if she saw you interacting and getting/giving support with a sanctioned group. Check with your local hospital, there are some on line. You could start an IBS Support meetup group in your area. You could set up a Yahoo Meetup account and see if you can get some people together?
We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer
I met this woman is a support group, problem was I got banned because of my views. This woman has my same views and emailed me and asked if we could be pen pals, I asked my wife if she would be okay with it. She said it wouldn't bother her at all, so this woman and myself have talked numerous times with my wife present. This woman is like my little sister and no way is anything Ever going to happen, period. I'm double her age, what do we possibly have in common other than IBS and political views. She's 23, I'm 46-
This support group asked about my political views- I told them that I was a staunch Ultra Conservative Liberatarian. I got banned immediately- no explanation at all. I never said anything about anyone else of their views as I don't push my views and don't take kindly to others pushing theirs either. We are who we are and we can be friends and have opposite views. That's the fun part of being friends, we can be ourselves.
Take your wife's comment at face value and don't fret/sweat over it.
Like so many things in a relationship, any relationship for that matter, it boils down to trust.
If she trusts you then no problem. If she doesn't trust you then that's a problem IMO. Whether it's her problem or your problem has to be determined at that time.
You're a stand up guy, she knows this, so don't worry about it. If she starts to make comments, sighs, rolls her eyes, etc. about your friendship with this woman then reevaluate it at that time.
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