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Junior Member
I know it was wrong but i did it anyway. Help please...
I was working for this wholesale fragrence company. While working there i became friends with this married man. I thought it was all innocent and nothing will come of it. I thought that the flirting would just be that and nothing else. This man took me under his wing at this job. He is very attractive and could have any girl he wants if he wanted to. But thats not what did it for me. He seemed caring and nice and sincere. Its like he had my best intrest at heart.
I took him home one day after work because his brother had his car. We just talked about work and other things. Just general conversation at least thats what i thought. He asked me for my number and i tried to ignore it because i knew he was married, but he asked for it again and so i gave it to him. Yeah how weak was that.
Basically we started to talk on the phone. At first it was just about work. Then we started to meet up and at first it was just kissing. We went on our first business trip and shared a hotel room and nothing happened. We just cuddled and i enjoyed it.
He start to tell me how he was going to leave his wife because she isnt suportive of the job. (we got paid off commission) and she didnt like it. He said that once he opens up his office he wants me to work in it with. He also said he wanted me to step my game up so he could make me his wife. So i will be happy and he would be happy. And once he opens up the office he wants me to have a baby by him. (him and his wife dont have kids together. The wife doesnt have any kids. He has 3 by his ex girlfriend and wants 6)
One day the wife calls and askes me do i know her husband. I called and told him and he said if she calls back then tell her we work together so i did just that. The next night he called me and put his wife on the phone trying to make it seem like it was somebody else talking to me and texting me all those times from his phone. And the wife actually bought the story.
This pissed me off to the tenth degree. The wife calling is one thing, but him calling and putting her on the phone is another. I broke it off with him and told him to find somebody else to work in the office with. I tried to end it on good terms but he didnt respond to my message. So i figured he accepted it as over and so have I.
I was wrong again because a few days later out of the blue he texts messages me saying whats up. And me being weak and not completley over him we started back talking. Why do we do these things and we know whats happening? I have convinced myself that i wont get emotionally attatched to him, but im lying to myself and i know it.
Why wont he leave me alone and just be done with me? Why am i being so weak when i am a strong person? I need some advice to let this man go. yes you will say cut off all contact, but that's easier said than done. I feel so stupid. Could he really be interested in me and not just the sex? (we have only had sex one time). I have tried to talk to other men (single) to get over him but its not working. and get this he asked me have i been having sex with anyone else except him and he doesnt want me to. he wants me to wait on him. oh the nerve of him. Please help me.
No sarcastic remarks. We all make mistakes what matters is what you do after youve made the mistake. Im trying to make my wrong into a right. no matter how it seems i really am.
Last edited by yogurl2; 06-13-2007 at 10:45 AM.
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Junior Member
women just get so emotionally attached fast well most of us. I would just tell him if he really is serious about you to call you when he has left his wife and you know it for sure. 9 times outta 10 men alway's say they are gonna leave there wife,there wife is not supportive on and on and they never do,maybe he is going through a mid-life crisis. He won't leave you alone cause he know's he has already hooked you,and it's none of his buisness if you are having sex with anybody else cause you know he's having sex with his wife. Play it by ear talk to him only when you need to,going out with him i wouldn't.Like i said if he is really serious he will leave his wife maybe he's really not happy anymore. Hey i've made my share of mistakes with men and i learn from them we aren't perfect nobody is.
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It is pretty obvious this guy is having lots of fun
at your expense.
Let's look at a portion of your first post....
He start to tell me how he was going to leave his wife because she isnt suportive of the job. (we got paid off commission) and she didnt like it. He said that once he opens up his office he wants me to work in it with. He also said... he could make me his wife. So i will be happy and he would be happy. And once he opens up the office he wants me to have a baby by him. (him and his wife dont have kids together. The wife doesnt have any kids. He has 3 by his ex girlfriend and wants 6)
Now obviously, if he was 'Going to Leave His Wife'
why would he care what she thinks/doesn't think about
the relationship between you and he?
How does this match with;
One day the wife calls and askes me do i know her husband. I called and told him and he said if she calls back then tell her we work together so i did just that. The next night he called me and put his wife on the phone trying to make it seem like it was somebody else talking to me and texting me all those times from his phone. And the wife actually bought the story.
This pissed me off to the tenth degree. The wife calling is one thing, but him calling and putting her on the phone is another.
Clearly, he is lying to you. He will never leave his wife.
He doesn't want her to divorce him, so uses you in this
crazy drama he's concocting.
You end it yesterday.
Let him go and have babies with other women.
I wonder if he supports them...?
You should find this girlfriend and I'll bet the
same he tells you he told her.
This man can not have every woman he
wants, because most know he's garbage.
Those who think...'oh he's so wonderful..'
those he can have.
The women who look at him and say..."Uh
huh, married man looking for a bit on the
side, is he?" he can't get.
If you do get involved with him...
read Drama28s story so you'll know
how it ends.
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Junior Member
Thank you
I just wanted to say thank you for your advice. It was well needed. I know what i need to do but i just dont understand why i cant move on yet. I know i need to move on before this situation gets out of hand. I know he is using me but i figured that i would just use him for what i need him for. He's married and even though he is theres is a reason he chose to marry this woman. its because he actually loves her. I just hate i got myself into this situation all together. Since he got his wife then i will talk to other people. I wont sit and wait on him.
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Married men know all the how-tos and what-tos
because they are already housebroken. So when
they meet a woman who has only dated men who
aren't 'housebroken', they seem so 'wonderful.'
Chalk this guy up to experience, give thanks you
got out when you did, and avoid him like the plague.
Whatever he claims to have to give you, he doesn't.
Find reasons to avoid him.
What I think really makes you feel bad is that you
were used to fool his wife. If he bothers you tell
him that you will tell his wife how he is pursuing you.
He's just a trickster.
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VIP Member
Yo - you are going to be just fine. Kay's right. Find ways to avoid this guy and do not take his phone calls. He is a predator and a loser. There are many men and women out there who like to prey on others to get their kicks. You deserve better. Bravo for you for being smart enough to realise and see the situation for what it is.
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Junior Member
I wanted to add that I think his wife should know what he is doing...she needs to know!!
**Thread is two years old.
Last edited by sourpuss; 03-05-2009 at 02:26 PM.
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