Random blanking!

**flink88** · 04-27-2011 08:30 AM

I've known this guy for 6 years. He was my first love, although he was just out of a long relationship when I first fell for him. Since we went to different universities and even different countries, we've spoken online mainly for the past few years. He's had a long-term relationship in the meantime as have I. I'm just going through a break-up now, and am not looking to fall straight into another relationship.
We flirt online when we haven't got bf/gf's and he tells me he can tell me anything. Last I heard from him was Christmas when he texted me and asked me if I'm ok because we hadn't spoken in a while (I was just abroad with family still). I replied and since then he hasn't spoken to me. I've taken the initiative and asked him how his Christmas was etc., but I haven't hounded him or anything.
It seemed like he really liked me, so why is he suddenly blanking me? My best friend suggested it might be because he wants more and I had a bf at the time. Possible? (Surely he'd ask me to meet up and see me if he liked me so much?) I think it's more likely he's a) Weird or b) just gets fed up of talking to me.
Anyone else been through similar?

**spurzzz** · 04-27-2011 10:20 AM

We flirt online when we haven't got bf/gf's

How do you know that for sure? He is an imagination at the moment, could be lying.

Last I heard from him was Christmas

Ok so your imagination has gone now ------- find a new one.

Are you getting what i'm saying? That guy doesn't exist, you don't exist to him. Get on with your life and stop chasing dreams.

**flink88** · 04-27-2011 11:29 AM

I get the I don't exist to him bit, but the whole he's an 'imagination' doesn't make sense. You mean he's somehow a figment of my imagination? How's that? I DO talk to him.

**Seeker_Advice** · 04-27-2011 11:40 AM

He appears to not be as interested in you as you are in him. So stop wasting your life and the precious time you have in it and go find someone that really does love you and who isn't thousands of miles away.

**spurzzz** · 04-28-2011 10:05 AM

"You mean he's somehow a figment of my imagination? How's that? I DO talk to him"

You haven't seen him in the flesh yet have you.....that means he is only an imagination, how do you know what he is really like? How do you know what he is doing or that he has told you the truth........? Webcam doesn't count.

When you meet, the chemistry might not be there however much you think it will. So the point I am making is to not get so hung-up on someone you haven't even seen. He clearly is not interested as much as you and may only be using you for a quick ego boost online when he wants it....

Perceptions over imagination in this case please.

**WildChild** · 04-28-2011 11:12 AM

How's the song go, "Its just a fantasy, its not the real thing".
I agree with Spurzzz, get out and meet some new, real people you can touch.
He may or may not be what you think but obviously he isn't There.

**flink88** · 04-29-2011 12:01 PM

Erm...I have met him. It's just that we haven't seen each other in a while because of university and being abroad for it. So yes. He is real and we did have chemistry. So much so that he missed the last train to walk me home etc. and we lost track of the time. He's definitely NOT imaginary.

**flink88** · 05-01-2011 09:22 AM

So based on the fact that I have spent time in real life with this man, is there any further advice?

**Hopeless Dork** · 05-01-2011 01:11 PM

I don't think he means he's imaginary in the sense that you are coo-coo and this guy doesn't exsist. He means he's imaginary in the sense that he hasn't exsisted in your life in any real way in a very long time. That your 'relationship' was mostly whatever either of you needed it to be to get you through lonely times , as you said, you flirted with each other when you didn't have anyone.

He hasn't spoken to you since Christmas, it likely means he's lost a need for the crutch of having someone to give him comfort in the dips of his dating life. Maybe he found someone, maybe he didn't. But its been months and its time you , for your own happiness and growth... take a moment and enjoy the experiences you shared , the friendship you held and appreciate it for what it was... but realize it is no longer that way... and that its time to move forward with new experiences, new friendships.