I have a real problem
Hey people,
I'm going to try keep this short. I been with a guy for a year and a half. I use to love him so much. He use to be quite emotionally abusive and would always put his friends and family first for example if I'm talking on the phone to him he would cut me off to speak 2 a friend who be calling and he would always do this. The lack of times we saw each other he would call his best mate shield with me, yet didn't want to text me if he's with his mate.
Well now he has changed n understands that it was wrong to do all that n is changing, he finishes conversation with me n speaks to me with much more respect and no abuse. I however now despise him talkin to his friend n I hate it when he goes out with friends. He doesn't go to bars or clubs just goes for a quick bite to eat and texts me whilst with mates yet I can't stand him being with his friends. Why am I like this ???? I get angry and upset even tho he still texts me.
His emotional abuse in the past has really got to me now that if I get upset I just want to abuse him and put him down.
Because your gut is telling you this isn't right for you. Why put so much effort into something that doesn't feel good in your heart?? Just because he's treating you decent doesn't mean he's the right guy for you.
YOu may also have some jealousy/insecurity issues. But either way....perhaps it's time to start listening to your gut.
"Be what you're looking for."
"The next time you're thinking of kicking someone when they're down, offer them your hand and help them back up instead."
You are too focused on him, seriously - that is what I am reading, no offense meant. If you try to act like he is not your sole source of happiness, things might change. If it doesn't, then it goes to show, you deserve a better man.
What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are but how you deal with incompatibility. - Leo Tolstoy
The clearest explanation for failure of any marriage is that two people are incompatible; that is, one is male and the other female. - Anna Quindlen
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Your feeling like this because your mind now associates his friend with anger and frustration. Just because he has changed doesn't mean his mate has.....and that can be a problem. If he has a weak character then he may be easily sidelined into the norms of peer-pressure....
Caterpillar79 is right in that you seem to be focussing too much on him and not yourself. Try not to make him the source of your thoughts as you will be neglecting yourself the majority of the time. Don't be a pushover for nobody. Get yourself out there and do some things you enjoy doing.....
That should ease the pain and make him think at the same time.....it may even make you think about things too....
I am going to tell you what you don't want to hear!
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't
Hi!
I think you need to count your blessings and be GLAD that you are no longer emotionally dependent on him. RUN RUN RUN!!!
Hi RosePedal! I'm not shure wear your feelings are at with this guy right now! But it sounds like he's at least trying to work things out! Depending on what you want! Have you ever considered going for consoling together? Whatever path you chose to take! I wish you the very best....
I hate it when he spends time with his friend? I hate it I get so angry at say nasty things. I never use to be like this with him, but for such a long time when we would speak on the phone he would cut me off to speak to his friends if they phoned. When we would meet once after two months he would continue to text his friend and ring them here and then. Yet when I use to ring him he would pick and up and say he's busy with his friends.
Now Everytime he goes out I get so angry and want to shout and scream I want him to spend his time with me
Does he spend a lot of time with you? Are you still in a ldr? Do you think this reaction will persist as long as he has the same friends or does it go for new friends, too? How often does he go out with friends?
I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
...
Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?
Patrick Henry
Have you communicated how you feel in a non-threatening, non-attacking way?
What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are but how you deal with incompatibility. - Leo Tolstoy
The clearest explanation for failure of any marriage is that two people are incompatible; that is, one is male and the other female. - Anna Quindlen
Register! | Rules/FAQ |Contact Mod| Contact Admin
Yes still in a LDR so it's not as if he can come see me anytime. But the thought of him spending time with his friend winds me up to death. I get so annoyed him showing affection to his mate (male) just winds me up. I know for a fact their brotherly relationship means a lot to me. They text everyday and ring each other eeryday and see each other. He's not gay but I hate it
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