Grr WTF not Again ?

**BabyGirl** · 05-05-2011 01:15 PM

Many know why I joined this site a year ago this Month. I was having a relationship with a man that was married, but claimed to be more a Roommate with his wife than hubby.

We spent a year being “ Best Friends, Attempted to be Lovers “, I was his, all but Sexual Mistress. We had plans to spend a whole weekend together last May, and I came here for Advice.

I was Properly Chastised for being a Mistress, even if it wasn’t sexually completed.
John and I had one evening of the “ Special Wekend” and basically He Dumped me and Ended the “ Affair “. Due to I did things he didn't like ( smoking ) and having to go potty outside at the beach area.. Of course it was his “ guilt “ after a year of “Cheating “, kissing, fondling. Lying to his wife and so on. That he felt we should end it.

This is after He was threatened by my adopted Daughter, of her sending him texts and threatening to send his wife all of the texts and proclamations of his “ Love ” for me.

That ended the relationship last May. No Contact at all, was told he moved to another State, All was Good, I was getting over my Love for him, though I still have thought of him this past year. A certain Truck Color, coming into my work parking lot. Passing the Park we used to meet at on weekends.

Yesterday I was Doing Great, Spring is here again, He was all but Forgotten. I was Proud of myself. The Love for him was Fading to just a Memory.

Though I still have 200 texts on my old Cell phone, Yes CW you can Kick me NOW .. Lol. I had planned to delete one a day, to slowly get him out of my Mind and Heart. Not an easy job for me as when I love, it's deep and not just a throw away kind.

So, Yesterday, one of the most Beautiful days here in the Seattle area, Sunshine, 60 degrees, Flowers and Trees blooming, Fluffy White Clouds in a Chrystal Blue Sky . I get off work at 3 pm, get home, listen to Voice mails from My Krazy Brother, you have heard about in the mental health thread .
And I get a text on my Cell. Says “ I thought you could use a B on such a nice day “.
I replied with “ Huh “ ?
He replied with it's a “Smiley”

I said who's this, he said “ Just Me BG
Your HB, just saying Hi.”

Well then I got Pizzed, Hurt, Frustrated.. So I thanked him , wished him & his Wife well and then asked Why he'd contacted me after a Year, Go the “ It's hard to just Drop someone you love like a Dime “ Crapolla.

Yep it's hard,One Year of Hard to Forget you Love someone who you thought loved you, but dumped you when they thought they could lose their home and things over an Affair if they got caught .

So here I am , Pizzed and Hurting a lot . Pizzed at Him for even having the Gonads to Contact me, Pizzed at Me for the “ Flutter in my Heart for Reacting. “
I did text back a few times, I know I shouldn’t have. ( Beat me later My Dear WH Friends and Family ).

The texts were fairly Aggressive and Protective of myself. Things like Why are you doing this, Why are you remembering me all of a sudden, Why are you trying to hurt me again.
I got back very short texts, Sorry, I hurt you, sorry I bothered you. Thought we could be friends that shared something Special. ( as if he couldn't text much ). Then ones of I'll not bother you again, take care ETC.

I then sent him a text back, asking if him and the Mrs were on the outs again ? He replied with Same Ole . I explained I still had 200 plus texts of his last affair with me and I could definitely help him out of his Unhappy Marriage by sending the printouts to his wife.

It is a Sweet Victory, that I got a text Back. “ No need to do that BG, was intending No Harm “.
Now here is My Frustration. Do I send his wife the copies or not ? Does she Deserve to know what he is up to this Spring ? I am not her enemy nor her friend.

Do I protect her, leave her alone and let her go through whatever she is going through with him, by herself ? Or do I let her know he seems to be on the Prowl again ?

The issue here is he admitted to her about kissing me for a year long relationship,not the full truth and I saved his Azz on that one last May. She almost left him over just the kisses, as she is still going thru Menopause, Drinking and such. Excuses Excuses.

Now it is Spring, 1 year later.. And I get his “ Just a Sunny Day Thinking of you “

I seriously went through this a year ago, I came to WH, Stayed in WH and just really need some Friendly Sister and Brotherly Advice.

**KMonte85** · 05-05-2011 01:36 PM

BabyGirl, I am sure that his contact with you brought back a flood of memories and feelings, all familiar.

One such feeling being that you should let his wife know more of what happened. But I think the advice you received on that notion months ago is as true today as it ever was (remember your thread about helping JJ and if you should share your txts with the wife?). Telling her of his transgressions will not help.

He is about as slimy a slimeball there is. And his contacting you after all this time just proves that he's only about himself.. never the feelings of others.

On a further note... I think you're punishing yourself by keeping these texts and not blocking his # from your phone. I know it is difficult to let go, but how liberating it can be once you do is a true gift.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 05-05-2011 01:38 PM

Ahh, the hauntings. I know all about them. There are some guys that just can't let go, and it's not YOU they can't let go of, it's having someone on a string, playing with someones emotions they can't let go of. Many times I've wanted to think I was just special, perhaps that's why he could "get over me". But that's not true at all. I AM special, but I wasn't special to him. And you weren't special to him. Neither is his wife. He uses people to boost his ego.

By texting you on your bday, he knows what he's creating for you in your heart when he does that. It just should prove even more to you the man he is.

Now is the time. Delete those messages BG. Do it today. Delete them, they mean nothing. Do not respond to another message from him. Block his # if you have to. Erase him, he does NOT deserve a slot in your life. Your past will continue to haunt you as long as you let it. *swift kick in the booty*

**sungoddesschelsy** · 05-05-2011 01:45 PM

Telling her would only cause more pain for the both of you, the feeling you get right now might not be pain but if you start in of a relationship with him again I beleive it will end in nothing but heartache.

He stated he was not getting along with his wife... seems like he wanted to use you for a quick ego boost.

Block his number and delete all the texts. If he causes this heartache to his wife, the one he promised to honor and cherish....what kind of pain would he bring to you?

**littleprincess** · 05-05-2011 02:38 PM

telling her might just make things a bit more alive and get others involved...or it could just get the message into his thick head that enough is enough..but the wife would be hurt, tbh, she would be hurt if not by you then later down the line by another woman or by him being caught out?..

he is a slimball... i would personally send it all to her, but be prepared to deal with the afters, she might want to meet you, she might make u feel sh*t, she might turn out to be real mad..you just don't know..so think hard about it because its been a year and its all going to be dug up if you do tell her now..this guy is such a loser..do NOT fall for anything he says, I'm sure you wont though

best of luck honey.
xxx

**SaharaJim** · 05-05-2011 02:55 PM

How much more of your life are you going to give this......uh....person.

Karma- his infidelities will catch up with him without your "participation." And will it Really make you feel any better? Write him and everything about him off. Delete it from your cell phone and consider even getting a "new" number. You learned a hard lesson..married men are "off limits" for no one else's sake but your own. Don't let him take you back into the "dark place" you had to work so hard to get out of.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 05-05-2011 03:28 PM

What he said above

BG, slimy is such an appropriate word...

Just because you didn't end up having sex with him, doesn't mean 1 year later, in his bored life, that he isn't going to be sitting there, selfishly wanting an emotional feeling that he is missing in his life that you provided to him.. He purely may not have cheated that way as he has ED, or through fear of financial gain from his wife, if she found out...

He was cunning, calculated.

He hoped that you would have been panting for him yet again, and so, the wheel re-continued...

Selfish?

Absolutely.

Send her stuff? It's time to delete them all BG, he has no room in your life, Karma as stated works wonders and you have no need to pull yourself down to his level.

Delete
AND
Delete / Block his number.

The best revenge is no reply ever.....ever...and to get on with your life

**BabyGirl** · 05-06-2011 07:28 AM

Thanks everyone.
Like I said his texts are on another phone, I have a new one but keep the old one in case this one ever breaks or I lose it, I can just reactivate the old one. I don't keep his texts ( Now , though at first I did) to look back on and wish. I keep them for a reminder and for Evidence.

Last time I read any his texts, this was maybe mid January, I only got through a couple of the, Said " Yeah Right & Jerk ". It was more of a Reminder of what not to get into ever again.

I'm a Pack Rat, I keep all of my Krazy Brothers Delusional Voice Mails and Texts too. Just in case he goes off the deep end and I can show them to the Courts so he can get Mental help again, instead of Prison.

No worries here of me being involved with John again. I learned my lesson. The thing is that I didn't recognize his number at first. When I saw it was him, I didn't feel Joy or Happiness, I felt anger , How dare he contact me a year later , with his "it's a beautiful Sunny Spring day and I'm thinking of you ." Grrrrrr

He hasn't texted again, since I told him that He should spend the Beautiful Sunny Day thinking of his wife , since I could tell he was on the Outs with her, He should do his best to make up and be Happy with her..

He also knows I have saved his texts, I Point Blank asked him if he needed copies of them ? Lol
His last text was " I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, was just saying hi to an old friend that we shared some sweet times together. Sometimes it's not easy to let go. I won't bother you again ".

And that made me Madder . But I didn't reply back. I know replying will only start a Convo back up, and I don't want to go there.
I also have this feeling, call it psychic, that sometime this Spring or Summer he will come into my work for Parts, I know it will be to test my reaction, to see for himself if I'm still " Available" to him.

This is not a Fantasy, this is a deep in the Gut feeling. I am Prepared for this. He will be addressed as Mr. " S" and I will hand him over to a Co-Worker.

And Revenge or Not, I'll call it a Deterrent, his Mrs will get at least a copy of a few " Racier " texts that have last years dates on them and a copy of these recent ones where He contacted me.

No. I don't think I'll delete those texts just yet. If I do or had, I would not have evidence that he is a Slime Ball on the Prowl .
Thanks Everyone for the input.

**oxy-moron** · 05-06-2011 08:25 PM

BG
Take the good advise you have received here.
He is using you now and it sounds like he always was.
Distract yourself with someone else.
You need to find another or you will remain vulnerable.
Stay strong.