Thread: Major jealousy problem

Maybe its less to do with being jealous of her than you think... maybe its more to do with you don't get to spend as much time with him as you'd like. If she has been crushing on him... she's obviously thrown the moves out there to him, or the vibe she's into him -- and she clearly isn't what he wants in that department or he wouldn't be going out with you. Asking someone to quit being friends with someone is never a good idea... it has to be his idea... or its cause for resentment, its also cause for him to dictate whom you can and can't hang out with -- fair is fair right?

Relationships need trust, or they are nothing. But relationships also need communication, compromise and an understanding and concern for ones feelings. Instead of telling him he shouldn't hang out with her, instead of acting jealous of her, instead of acting like he's doing something wrong... lead the communication with the truth of your feelings... that you sometimes get hurt that you don't get to spend as much time with him as you want, and that it stings when she gets to and you don't.

Perhaps the two of you could work on ways to see each other more... and maybe once he realizes, truly understands that its not lack of trust and just more about how you are feeling like a 3rd wheel that he will just choose to naturally curb his associations with her until their friendship cools down to a more normal... seeing a person every now and then and not several times a week, etc.

No he is the one who suggested not talking to her any longer. I declined it knowing that it might cause future problems what ever they may be. I've tried asking him plenty of times to hangout when i knew he was free but he always declines. Later in the weeks i find out from other friends that on the exact day i ask him to hangout he is out hanging out with the other girl. Normaly there is one or two more people with them but sometimes not. It really hurts. I ask him why he declines hangout with me and was with them but i never get a straight answer. He always freaks out though i ask nicely. I love my boyfriend to death but it hurts so much. Most of his friends are also my friends so I don't see the problem.

he sounds like an emotional abuser.

Well with the additional info you provided it sounds like he may not be as into this relationship as you are. I wasn't sure why you guys weren't hanging out so much, assuming it was work or school or distance... but if he is able, but chooses not to... thats a whole different issue. When a guy likes a girl he WANTS to spend time with her, sometimes life can make it so they can't spend as much time as they want to -- but if he'd rather hang out with friends when you want to see him, and thats the way it is the majority of the time... he just might not want to be as serious as you are hoping.