I don't want to be interested

**cottoncandie** · 05-22-2011 03:13 AM

Hey guys,

I am interested in this guy I recently met, and this is the first time I find myself NOT wanting to be interested. I'm not sure how to explain this, but I think in a way, I am scared of so easily falling for a guy that I don't really know. I don't want to spend my time thinking about him only to find out in the end that he has a girlfriend/ isn't interested at all... I just got out of a relationship 9 months ago, and I really don't want to get hurt again. Also, I feel that I should focus on other more important things in life first (like family, friends & work) - but how can I do that when I'm always thinking about him? I'm feeling really confused.... Please give me some advice! Thanks~

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 05-22-2011 03:20 AM

Hello sweetness.

Well 9 months is a long time okay... Did you get closure on that relationship? It if i remember was also a little confusing...

Life is confusing.

You are not interested? Yes you are, you are just scared like you said.

Why not take it slowly, let nature take it's course get to know him in a friendly way and find out all that you need to and see if it's real or if, it's a crush?

You should concentrate on work for sure, family will always be there, friends always make time but you know? We are allowed to move on to the next relationship, only we need to know it is relationship material so see again above.

CW

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 05-22-2011 03:34 PM

bumping......

**cocoa** · 05-27-2011 09:14 AM

I am struggling with this issue as well. I haven't been in a relationship for along time and just met someone a few weeks ago, and he is very interested and wants more than I'm ready for. And I don't know if I want to be interested.

And I can definitely relate to this quote:

I am scared of so easily falling for a guy that I don't really know. I don't want to spend my time thinking about him only to find out in the end that he has a girlfriend/ isn't interested at all

^^^ This is my biggest fear. He tells me all this very romantic stuff, how much he cares, in other words, he is very expressive about how he feels and what he wants but I'm concerned that it's just not real - I'm worried it's all an act to get me to give in.

Can't really offer any advice, but just know that you're not alone in feeling this way. And I'm sure other women are facing similar things. Hope you find your answer.

**lizzardb63** · 05-27-2011 10:13 AM

Communication and taking things slow. When I met my current boyfriend, i was only single for 6 weeks fresh out of a 4-year relationship. It was really scary and I wasn't exactly ready for a serious committment. I expressed that to him and the longer I got to know him, the more comfortable I got with the idea of being in a relationship again. If someone is truly interested in you, you need to let them know where you are, otherwise you could risk leading them on. At any point do you decide you don't want a relationship, you need to express that to them. It could save heartache and time.

As far as being scared of being hurt again, its always possible, but you can't let that hold you back if you have feelings for someone. If you get rejected, what is the worst thing that could happen? At least you tried right? Life is about living and learning as you go. Just follow your heart and be completely HONEST with yourself and the other person.