Just being "practical"; or rewarding "bad" behavior?

**SaharaJim** · 05-23-2011 10:25 AM

Sluggo is certainly living "down" to my expectations. He "quit" his "job" at the pizza place last Friday. He had "threatened" quitting two weeks ago over the manager "yelling at everyone". Step-daughter talked him out of it- now it was over a fellow "employee" making an inappropriate remark over the phone when daughter called Sluggo. I might have gotten fired for kicking his *whatever*; but why quit the job?

So...he is now without even the "bare minimum" job he had.
He has only a old mustang classic that does not work. So they are struggling by on Daughters' car alone. With no effective "public trans." in this area ; you pretty much have to have a vehicle to work. I am sure many of you "see" where this is going

.
Yes. I am registering and insuring the Maxim motorcycle and "lending" it to him as "job transportation".

PHFFFT! I feel like I am "rewarding" his bad behavior but don't really see any other "practical" option; short of "throwing daughter to the wolves" and letting them crash and burn. I offered my wife a "bet" that in two months he still won't be working-she just gave me the "look". I "offered" this after talking privately with her earlier in the day- she already knows my "trepidation".

I told her this morning that there is still plenty of room in the septic tank....she didn't think that was funny.

**Texinator** · 05-23-2011 10:42 AM

I don't know... Sluggo sounds like he wouldn't take long to throw the motorcycle in a ditch and hurt himself. Then he'd have another reason not to find a job, there'd be medical expenses involved, and who knows, you might even get blamed for having lent him the motorcycle in the first place.

**mymirrose** · 05-23-2011 10:51 AM

Watch insuring that vehicle, SJ. Insurance follows the vehicle, and the insurance is in your name. If he hurts himself and doesn't have another insurance policy on that he is listed as a driver, your policy will pay. If he hurts someone else or damages their property, it is your policy that covers it. You will end up taking care of anything he does. Just be careful, please.

**LanaBear** · 05-23-2011 10:59 AM

I'm not sure if it has been mentioned or if I don't remember, but do they live with you and your wife?

**Texinator** · 05-23-2011 11:03 AM

How close is that Mustang to being in working condition? If possible, I'd help him get that fixed up instead.

**WildChild** · 05-23-2011 11:05 AM

Rose makes a good point. Can they add the bike to her policy? If you have to, slip her a few dollars to help cover it?

**pretzel** · 05-23-2011 11:08 AM

Hey SJ,

I think we both know why you did it,

Your step-daughter and your wife. You know the saying, "you're not losing a daughter, you're gaining a son".

Sorry, I know this eats the daylights out of you.

**mymirrose** · 05-23-2011 11:26 AM

Insurance companies insure to the registered owner, your proof of insurance is checked everytime you register your vehicle with the state. I have clients call to say "so & so is borrowing my bike, are they covered even if they are not listed on the policy?" Yes, the vehicle is covered, but you as owner, are liable for anything they do. He could even sue you & your insurance company for his injuries. I always try to talk people out of "lending" their vehicle to anyone.

**LanaBear** · 05-23-2011 11:36 AM

Originally Posted by Tex

How close is that Mustang to being in working condition? If possible, I'd help him get that fixed up instead.

I completely agree with this.

You are, in a sense, enabling his behavior. No job? That's okay, FIL is giving me a motorcycle to ride around.

He isn't feeling any pain, so to speak, from quitting his job. Do you have public transportation where you live? Buy him a bus pass.

Do they live with you? Tell them they have 30 days to find their own place.

Yeah, it is your step daughter that you are going to have to deal with too, but with her, you are also enabling the enabler. She chose this relationship, she's going to have to suffer the consequences of his actions too.

I've witnessed this time and time again with my mom, my sister and all her boyfriends. Sister never worked, mommy paid rent, car, insurance, food, etc. Boyfriends lived with sister and didn't work. Once my mom got smart and stopped paying for everything, even where my sister was concerned, the boyfriends disappeared because girlfriends mommy wasn't paying their way anymore. They went on to the next sucker.

It's going to suck and it's going to hurt, but in reality, you aren't helping anybody. It's just going to become a bigger problem.

**SaharaJim** · 05-23-2011 11:42 AM

Thanks everyone. Prezel is right it does "eat me up" and I just needed to vent without making my wife "feel bad".

I don't trust the kids to insure the bike so my wife is taking them by the hand and taking them down to our insurance agent and buying the insurance with Suggo as a named operator of the bike. I am also on the policy as the "owner" of the bike. The policy will include 'medical" so if he survives a major crash there will be medical coverage. God forgive me....the thought of a "fatal'

(Big sigh). Thought about repairs to the Mustang Tex; but I just flat "refuse" to pour money into that "rich man's toy". 1976 Coupe; original 302 V8, but it is the year that the engine horsepower was cut -so it's not a "collector"-just an oddity that would take two-thirds it's value to restore mechanically-without touching the cosmetics. I warned him NOT to buy it as a "transportation" vehicle- but hey- what does that "old grouch" know